"Love means look for good," I heard writer and speaker Denis Waitley say, many years ago in a seminar.
There are a myriad of ways we can answer the question of how to love. A book I once read spoke of three A's. I only remember two of the A's for sure right now, acceptance and approval. I think the third was probably appreciation. (I wish I could remember the title or author of the book, but I cannot.)
As I first read that book, long ago, I remember feeling that yes, I could accept people as having been created by a loving God and that he ultimately wants each and every one of us to go to heaven; but what about approval? What if I think the way someone thinks or the things this person does are wrong? Well, we don't have to approve of everything; we can look for things we do approve. We can, as Denis Waitley said, "look for good".
Most people we meet or interact with – for example, relatives, neighbors, co-workers – have some virtues or customs we can approve of. In addition, even if we don't approve of someone's views or some of their actions, there's another thing to consider also, and it's very important: We don't know anyone's intentions. Only God knows what is in anyone's heart.
So, we can accept people as God's most beautiful creation. We can approve of their good qualities, while not judging their intention regarding values we don't share in common.
And how do we appreciate them?
We can appreciate people by showing them gratitude for their service and their gifts. By gifts, I don't mean presents, so much as their talents and contributions, be it big or small, be it some great work or a smile.
We can also appreciate their humanness. If they are suffering, we can empathize with them. We can let them know that we hear them or see them, that they are of value to us.
All of these things can be done whether we are avoiding our differences (as we often do in the workplace, and as we must do on various Facebook groups I'm on) or whether we discuss our differences. My neighbor and I can discuss gardening and our yards, and bring each other mail that was mis-delivered; disagree about some of our opinions; and rejoice over one another's new car, job, or job promotion. Those things are not mutually exclusive.
We can disagree with people, even strongly, and at the same time, practice acceptance, approval, and appreciation.
