Saturday, May 28, 2016

Maybe it's Not the Yelling

I was waiting for someone, and I just got to thinking about moms, especially moms going through menopause or moms not getting enough sleep, or any moms, really, who yell at their kids sometimes and feel badly (as I did when my kids were children). And I found an old grocery list in my purse to write on, and I just started writing the following. I've been in the trenches, and I've made a lot of mistakes. I still do. So if there's anything here that makes you feel badly...please, improve if you want to, but know that my purpose here was simply to lift you up. I think most mothers are "telling" the right things, most of the time, even when they are sometimes yelling.  

Maybe it's Not the Yelling

Maybe it's not the yelling.
Maybe it's: What are we telling?

What are our words?
What are our messages?

Are we telling them if they don't hurry up,
We will leave them behind?
(I won't try to keep you safe.)

Are we telling them if they don't comply with us -
every single time - they are bad people?
(I don't respect you.)

Maybe it's not the yelling.
Maybe it's: What are we telling?

Maybe we speak to them softly,
but tell them they should always give in to others.
(Your own needs are not important.)

Maybe we whisper to them, in gentle tones,
not to sit between dad and me next time.
(You are in the way.)

Maybe it's not the yelling?
Maybe it's: What are we telling?

What are our words?
What are our messages?

Are we yelling to say, "Would you hurry up
so we can get to your doctor appointment"?
(Your needs are important.)

Are we yelling to say, "Would you do your chores,
because I'm tired and your help is important"?
(I am glad you are part of this family.)  

Sometimes we need to say we're sorry for yelling,
remind them again that they brighten our day!
But maybe it isn't as much the yelling 

as what we are telling.