Five Things We Can Do About Politics Today

Yesterday, I said I might go on a political rant. I might, at some point, but first I want to make something clear. No matter what opinion or information I share, someone may be tempted to either think that I'm "part of the right" or "a leftist".  Whatever I may (or may not) share in the future, let me say this clearly first: I see myself as neither left nor right. You can label me any way you want if it makes you feel good (though it might hurt my feelings); but I'm just little old me with all my experiences and a lot of love in my heart, and sometimes a lot of frustration too.

As many of my friends and family know, when I was 18, I went to a cult. I'm not proud of that; but I learned a lot from it. I learned how dangerous it can be to focus too much on the negatives in the world. Why? It actually makes a person more vulnerable! I also learned it can be hazardous to think of people of other "groups" than "our own" as being "the other". Most of all, I learned the grave danger of people adhering to one group, or one man, as having all the answers, as being completely *right*, while that man or group adamantly tells us that everyone else is *wrong*.

If you voted against our current president, fight the issues that are most important to you, but please be careful to take care of yourselves too, lest you become more vulnerable from fighting the fight, and burn out.

If you voted for him, please understand that not everything about any man or any party can possibly be right.

Yes, truth in disclosure, in case you didn't see, or don't remember, my posts from last summer or fall, personally, I could not in conscience vote for President Trump. But my words here are for both those who did and those who didn't. We are all in this country together, and let's get through this.

First, let's be aware of self-care…and family care. By self-care, I don't mean selfishness. My desires are not more important than someone else's needs. But, for the most part, only I can keep myself physically and emotionally healthy. And for some people, caring for themselves and their families are all they have the resources to handle at a particular time.

Secondly, let's be there for those in need, in whatever ways we are called to and able to, whether that's physical help or moral support, prayer support, or encouragement. (And let's try to "do no harm". Personally, I don't find name calling to be very encouraging. Sorry, but that's a pet peeve of mine.)

Thirdly, let's be knowledgeable about a topic before we talk about it or share about it. I'll admit it. I have occasionally shared something because it seemed to be "on my side" about an issue, before checking it out thoroughly. The fact that a post, an article, or a meme is in agreement with what we believe does not guarantee that it contains factual information. Also, memes can be untimely. A number that was true one day may literally be 10 times different a few days later. I say this for myself too:  if we're not sure, let's move to a topic about which we are more knowledgeable, and share things which we have checked out very carefully. Or, if we're too tired to do that, we can always share - that day - about the weather, cloud formations, recipes, pretty flowers, pets, and of course, coffee.

Fourthly, let's be willing to step away from loyalty to party lines and loyalty to individual leaders to look at individual issues. Maybe you agree with this politician or party about this situation, but what about this other issue? Might your friend who is concerned about it have a point? 

Fifth, let's be most involved with those particular issues which are most important to us - or which we have a talent for - in whatever healthy ways we can. It might be easy enough to sign a petition or make a phone call to a senator but when we do the larger things, we might need to remember that no one can be all things or do all things, remembering, again, the importance of self-care, which is not taking care of myself as narcissistically important while other people are not, but loving ourselves, and opening ourselves to be compassionate to others. 

Not a Disney Movie

I've got a secret. I'm going to let you in on it. Shh. Here it is: We are not living in a Disney movie where it's all the good guys and the bad guys. We are living in the real world where some people do some really bad things some of the time, where some people do some really good things some of the time; where most people have a lot of good in their hearts, and where there's never anyone among us who doesn't ever do anything "bad", however large or small.

Oh no, but, 'I thank thee, Lord, that I am not like one of these sinners', said the Pharisee, whom Our Lord mentioned in order to say that the Publican who called himself a sinner did the better thing. And I am not using this example to call names; I'm not calling anyone a Pharisee as if I'm better (that would make me the Pharisee, wouldn't it?). Someone dear to me and I used to laughingly refer to this parable in order to remind ourselves of who we should be. I share it in that spirit.

Sometimes we talk about all the division as if it's a bad thing, and yet then sometimes fall into saying the divisive word, "they". Who is "they"? I fear we fall into the Disney movie or the sports competition mentality sometimes, and we either make everyone 'the good and the bad' or we think of it as 'our team and the opponents'. But really, aren't we all just mostly good but fallible human beings? Unless the antecedent to our pronoun is very, very clear, we would be better off to stop using that pronoun "they" as much as possible. My opinion. But I am right, am I not? :)

Another thing. If a public figure does or says something we don't agree with or approve, and it is highly public - or mostly if it is something that could directly affect us or others we care about - then we can talk about it because it is of public knowledge and concern (although again, public figures are human beings and should all be treated as such). But if someone talks about someone in a derogatory way, someone involving a victim of people's tongues, and then, in our outrage, we pass that along, saying, "Oh my, that's so terrible....Did you hear about that?", then I'm afraid more people come to know. More people come to be talking about that person. Are we sharing it to help that child or to help our goal of pointing out how bad our "opponent" is...that "they"? I learn so many things from social media that I honestly didn't need to know. Don't you? Or maybe that's me because I don't spend a lot of time watching the news. I mostly read the news, and mostly what I feel is pertinent to my concerns.

One more thing. It's not unloving to have opinions. It's not unloving to discuss those opinions. But name calling hurts real people. Even if we would not call our family member, friend, or neighbor a name, if we call names about "people who"...(fill in the blank), we might inadvertently being calling our family member, friend, or neighbor that name.

Love isn't about saying, "We all need to agree". It isn't saying we shouldn't fight, in respectful ways, against attitudes and actions that concern us. But love says, I see you. Love says, "I see you as God's beautiful creation, loved so much by God" (that's hard to remember sometimes, isn't it?). I see you having a different opinion or a different conviction than I do on this topic or that topic, but hey, maybe where you're coming from is different than I believed it was. Or maybe we might agree on something else. Love says: I don't have to agree with you to believe there is much good in your heart.

As St. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:13, "So faith, hope, love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love."

4 Things I've Learned from 2016 (and from a lifetime of experiences)

Looking back over my life, my good and bad choices, good and bad outcomes, adventures and mis-adventures, I came up with these ideas during this past week. I haven't mastered all of these concepts yet, as those who know me best could tell you. 

I hesitated about sharing this, because it's not meant as a guidebook for everyone. I am simply sharing. Maybe someone with a different personality might be learning very different things in their life. 

Also, sometimes I might seem to be saying one thing and then seem to be saying something different. You see, I believe in nuance and balance. 

And, finally, I'm not sharing to tell anyone else how to live their life. I'm sharing that maybe someone might relate with one little thing or another. "Aha, I feel that way too," and "No, I don't agree with that," but, "Yes, I get that." You know. Just enjoy. 

"I don't have to run away nor do I have to run things"

I don't have to run away from the unpleasant or imperfect, except when there is a compelling reason. Sometimes a change is absolutely necessary or strongly advisable, but certainly not always.

Also, it isn't necessary, or even possible, to "fix" everything, whether for myself, my loved ones, or others. There will always be problems. There will always be pain. I can be compassionate and empathetic, and contribute my heart and my ears, and sometimes my voice, and sometimes my hands, but without expecting a perfect world.

I can try to make things run well in my own affairs, but I need to accept less than perfection, even in my own life. And beyond that, the concept of "you can do great things" (encouraged so much in the twentieth century) may have been overrated. Mother Teresa said to do little things with great love, and St. Therese said something similar. Most people who have done great things in the eyes of the world or of the Church often just did - day after day - what to them were small things.

"I don't have to chase adventure and excitement"

Simple everyday things can bring their own joys, a person smiling, clouds, writing, or reading a book.

Experiences don't have to be new and different in order to be fun or interesting. Routines and repeat experiences can be warm and comforting in their very familiarity; and little things can be interesting, a new library book, a new acquaintance, perhaps a new song, or someone I haven't heard singing an old song.

"I don't always have to overcome obstacles and fears."

If it's not in my gift zone, or it feels dangerous, or it seems like 'too much', I can say no to an idea.

There's a difference between stepping out of my comfort zone to do something that is new or difficult for me and stepping out of my gift zone to do something I don't have the skill or aptitude to do reasonably well.

I can sometimes make a choice that is less stressful than another choice. If someone asks me to do something that "feels wrong" for me, I have the right to say no without them understanding why. 

I am entitled to put my needs ahead of someone else's desires or even their perceived needs if they are not my responsibility. But, I want to find more ways to help at least some of those who have a genuine need, ways that fit with both my ability to help or encourage them, as well as what they feel is best for themselves.

"Simplify."

I can keep or acquire more of what I use more often or love, and keep less of what I am less interested in.

What do we need for the activities we love? For me, the activities I am most interested in at this time in my life are travel (local, as well as the occasional long distance trip to see family and close friends); reading and writing; recycle sewing; and I hope to learn embroidery. I also like doing simple but wholesome cooking; and I hope to learn container gardening. 

I really enjoy observing nature, and I have found that I can do that nearly anywhere that I can be outdoors or at a window, even just by looking at the ever-changing sky. 

What do you like best? What have you learned in your life? 

Grace by Natashia Deón - A Book Review

I will never be the same. That's what popped into my head when I finished reading this award-winning, best-selling book.

It's genius. To me, it ranks with the writings of Dickens and Rowling for characterizations and surprises, and for following the lives of multiple people.

The book, Grace, is set before, during, and after the Civil War, not on battlefields but in the lives of the people, primarily a slave girl and her family, and those who come into their lives. The characters are complex, nuanced individuals.  

For those considering what ages might be appropriate for reading the book, just know that there are mature topics throughout, such as prostitution and gambling, murder and rape.

For me, the themes of character growth, love, and heroism counterbalanced the look into the dark side of humanity, and left me feeling satisfied as I finished the story. 

Grace by Natashia Deon