What Friendship Is

Friendship is not something we possess.

It's countless moments of connection.

It's sharing a funny moment or a funny memory.

It's sharing a happy story with a friend.

It's offering compassion for our friend's pain.

It's our presence when they are sick or heartsick. 

It's offering advice but without expectations. 

It's sharing in activities for service or for fun. 

It's offering help or a hug.

It's listening with an open heart. 

It's making amends; it's finding common ground.

It's all of these things or any of these things. 

~ Margaret Mary Myers

Remember the Arts and Feed your Senses

Remember the arts, and feed your senses. Listen to poets and musicians. Look up to the heavens and see how the pictures in the sky are different each day. Listen to the symphonies of young people laughing. Breathe in the nuances of the smells in the air as the weather changes from cold to warm. Try a food you haven't eaten for a long time...or find a farm stand and buy a food that's fresh from the garden. Do something that feels good in your hands...strum a guitar, or sew or knit, or work with wood, or paint, or bake bread. Do something with your hands that you've done before, or try something new.

A Few Words about Paul's Birthday and Immigration

Today is the birthday of our son Paul who died at age 26. He didn't die a violent death; he died in his sleep. But a little over a year earlier, he was hit by an elderly woman who was driving a minivan to a convent, while he was walking across the street to a church. He was blind, but he had been taught street crossing, and she was making a left turn, so if she had the green light then he did too, and so he definitely had the right of way. Someone turning left has to check for both the oncoming traffic and for pedestrians to their left. Where there is no left turn signal (and there wasn't one, at that intersection, at that time), the driver is solely responsible. So, through no fault of his own, my son was struck, while on foot, walking to church. And he had to be airlifted to the hospital where he had bleeding on the brain all that day.

A year or so later, he died mysteriously in his sleep. Was the death somehow related to the previous car accident? I’ve always wondered. We will never know. Since then, I’ve sometimes gotten momentarily mad at people for driving recklessly. But should I have stayed mad for the rest of my life at the woman who drove that minivan?

By the logic some people use in order to go after a multitude of immigrants based on one person having been murdered by an immigrant (“Say her name,” as some politicians said, and some people echoed), by that logic, shouldn't I be advocating for elderly women to not drive? (Of course, as a 70+ year old driver, I'd be shooting my own self in the foot). But no, what I needed to do was forgive her. What I needed to do was grieve. What I needed to do was continue to love.

Jesus didn’t say “an eye for an eye”. He said that was an obsolete idea. And a bad idea!

Now, I'm not saying that everyone should be let in at the border with no border laws at all and no border patrol at all. But I personally believe very strongly that there shouldn't be "witch hunts" with ICE going out into communities looking for people who have come here under temporary protected status (TPS) or any other status, for that matter. In most cases, they are serving the community in which they live. I wonder how many people know that there are immigrants working in our farms and factories who pay into social security and will not be able to benefit from it, because they don’t receive it. But they benefit from being here, and so do we benefit from them being here. And most of these people are good people, many of whom are active in our churches and in service to the communities in which they live.

And now ICE is even being allowed or encouraged to go into schools and hospitals and churches. No, not just to look for people who have committed a crime, as some have hoped; but to look for families (why else would they be encouraged to go into schools unless they are looking for children?). According to one politician I was seeing on a video last night, there are large quotas they want the ICE officers to meet. When there are quotas, there is no room for mercy.

Fortunately, some states are saying no to the idea of ICE overlooking the concept of churches, hospitals, and schools having been places of sanctuary for so many, many years. I only hope those states will win.

But it seems to me that some people in this country are trying to look at people who are here peacefully as if they are terrible enough criminals to be thrown into prison or sent "back". People sometimes lump too many immigrants into the category of “illegal”. There are varying degrees of documentation. Often, even those who are not here 100% “legally”, are only committing a misdemeanor, as you would when you get that speeding ticket. And most of us can’t say we’ve never gotten one.

I believe that talk of mass deportations and camps, and Guantanamo, of all places, should be alarming to us!

Also, I think of Mary and Joseph taking baby Jesus to Egypt. Some people say, but that was not illegal! But what if it had been? Then either they would have done it illegally or Herod would have killed Jesus. Now, of course, that wasn't in God's plan, but I'm just sayin'. Maybe these broad hunts for people who are just living their lives are not in His plans either. Not everything that we humans - subject to greed, jealousy, hatred, disrespect, and fear - come up with, or agree to, is in God's intentional plans.

Lord, have mercy.

All 

Grief and Life

Thirteen years ago, on this day, I was grieving my son Paul, and we were choosing a coffin.

Today, I am grieving all the losses and dangers that are taking place in our nation, and all those who may possibly lose their lives, their livelihood, or their family unit, due to various changes so suddenly taking place in our country.

But I am of the living, and living I must do. So, I will eat good food, I will enjoy my family and nature, and I will write.

And I will live and love, praying and trusting in God, one day at a time. Paul would have expected - or offered - nothing less.