Very Young Children, Child Development, and the Pandemic

For some families with very young children, the pandemic has been difficult. If you are staying mostly at home or going out less than you would have if there were no pandemic, here are some ideas.

 If you can, please get the children out of the house, safely, of course, whatever that feels like for you and your family. Maybe take a walk in the neighborhood. Possibly taking a drive to a farm or a duck pond would be nice or whatever is easy to access in your area but not crowded, if you're concerned about crowds. Get them outside of the house or apartment, and point out an airplane going by, or the garbage truck, and how those who collect the garbage are some of our community helpers.

Also, there are things you can do at home to give young children enrichment and social skills. Books open whole new worlds to them.

 Games, whether card games or board games - geared to their age - help them learn to take turns and give them the fun experience of doing something together with others. There are games made especially for younger children, although some may be more geared to children 5 and up, and may need some little modifications for 3's and 4's.

 Sing songs. Playing songs on TV or the web is good, but it's also fun and bonding to sing songs with them (or to them, until they pick it up). Also, if they don't get out as much, they can dance, jump, spin, even at home. You can find preschool songs online which feature movement.

Build structure into their lives. Have a place to eat meals. Maybe sit down together at the table most evenings to eat dinner. Of course, now and then a picnic outside might be fun, too. And I'm not saying anyone should have a strict schedule, just that some routine is helpful for their wellbeing.

 Establish some boundaries in their lives. You probably wouldn't let your child of 3 or 4 run inside of a church or at the library. But if you're not going out much, it might be harder to teach those kinds of boundaries. Is there an area of your home which would be safer for them if they don't run? That would be a good place for teaching the skill of respecting boundaries, such as "walking only" in this area.

And one more thing I would suggest is teaching them to come when you call them. Maybe they want to keep playing, but it might be helpful at some time - maybe even vital for their safety - if they learn to come when you call them to find out what it is you want. And then, at least some of the time, they can go back to their play.

 Just some thoughts I have had, while thinking about the young children in today's world, some of whom have been in their own homes a lot more in the past year and a half than is usually the case, some of them for half or more of their lives.

 

Little Saint Therese Grows Up - A Revision of My Previous Little Saint Therese

The Little Saint Therese Grows Up book (a revision of my previous Little Saint Therese) is now live. I am running a promotion on the Kindle version of the book, from midnight tonight, Thursday, August 26th (Pacific time) to midnight Saturday night, August 28th (Pacific Time), so, for two days.

Feel free to get the Kindle book and not buy the paperback. Free is free. No strings. But, of course I do hope that if enough people take the free Kindle book, that some of them - some of you - might buy the paperback to share with a child in their life. I feel like the paperback will provide a better reading experience for the child, with little pictures, however simple as they are stock pictures, but just to have a visual and hold the book in their hands. The Kindle has the same pictures but not on the same page as the text as they are in the print book.

But with the Kindle book, you can see what you think of the book...or read it with your child if you don't feel you have the money to spend on the paperback. Whatever you like. I just wanted to have both formats available to you all.

Incidentally - fun fact - I first offered my original Little Saint Therese as a free e-book, back in about 2003, when my son Paul put it online for me, on my then-website, so that I could do that. Children who had read it then are adults now! Wow, how time passes!

Anyway, I hope you will enjoy my revision. I enjoyed writing it.

Blessings. MM

Little Saint Therese Grows Up

Our Son Paul's Last Speech

Today is the birthday of our Paul who passed away in his sleep 9 years ago. It's hard to believe it's been nine years since we have heard his laughter, his jokes and puns, his counsel, and just him, being Paul.

When we drove out to where he had lived in Northern Kentucky, that icy January, to arrange for his funeral, someone gave us a CD with a talk he had given just a month or two before. After losing his sight at the age of 22, completing college, and not finding a job, Paul began giving talks on living our Catholic faith, our faith in the good God. He used to tell me, "God is love."

One of the things Paul talks about in this speech is having no fear anymore. I believe he meant it. I believe he was ready for whatever happened to call him home to God. But I also think God gave us fear for a reason, and that it's not to be dismissed completely; but then, I never had the strength of faith which Paul had at the end, so that's just me and my disclaimer. Here's a link to the talk if you're interested in hearing it. It's 37:54 minutes, so grab a drink or plan to fit it into a free slot in your day or evening. God bless! Paul Myers' Speech 12/15/11

Three Books for Black History Month

Here are three books I would like to share for Black History Month. These three books go back to the early and mid-1900's. History helps us to know how we got where we are and also to see patterns.

The Warmth of Other Suns, The Epic Story of America's Great Migration, by Isabel Wilkerson

Family Properties, Race, Real Estate, and the Exploitation of Black Urban America, by Beryl Satter

The Gentle Giant of Dynamite Hill, The Untold Story of Arthur Shores and His Family's Fight for Civil Rights, by Helen Shores Lee and Barbara S Shores, with Denis George

The first book, The Warmth of Other Suns, follows three different families who migrated from the Jim Crow South, with its segregation and lynchings, to the North and to the West, where they thought they would be safer. And it shows us what they encountered there, and how it would affect their lives and the lives of all who had done the same: only allowed to live in certain blocks of the city, and the crowded conditions that caused, and if someone dared to move one house over from the invisible lines, they would be subject to the violence of mobs of white people coming to destroy their property and chase them out of where they "didn't belong". Even though it's tough emotionally, and a long book, it's an easy read, in that, it's such a strong human interest story of real people by a masterful writer. I first read it on Kindle, and I remember where I was when I read some of the different parts of it. I more recently bought the print book so I can read parts of it again at leisure in my living room.

Family Properties is by a woman whose Jewish attorney father fought for the rights of black people in Chicago to own land, and to be able to improve their crowded conditions and about the legal but unethical theft of their properties, and the awful struggles he faced, which of course, is even more about the awful struggles of the people who were forced to live in such conditions. I read a third of the book and it became more technical about real estate, and I let it slide, but I'm glad I read some of it. I feel like, even in high school and college, students are sometimes assigned an article or part of a book; and I learned a lot. I originally read it on Kindle, but then bought the book, and I hope to read more of it.

I am currently 8 chapters into the book, The Gentle Giant of Dynamite Hill, The Untold Story of Arthur Shores and His Family's Fight for Civil Rights. The book was written by the two daughters of Attorney Arthur Shores, the first black man in Alabama to fight civil cases in an otherwise white court of law. The body of the book begins with Helen Shores' recollection, "I can still recall the pinging sound bullets made when someone in a passing car shot the window in our recreation room. The thick glass would usually prevent the window from shattering, but the bullets would pierce through and lodge in our interior walls..."

I know some people say, why? "Why do we have to go over all that? Things are different today." But we need to know what is possible...both in man's selfish and greedy nature and in man's courageous nature. We need to know why...why and how did the poverty of some parts of our urban centers develop? And we need to be ready to recognize those aspects of systems which still need change.

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Loving people in spite of seeing the world through different lenses

Jesus told us to love our neighbor but how do we do that? We know about feeding the poor and so on, but what about in our everyday relationships with people we don't agree with? 

"Love means look for good," I heard writer and speaker Denis Waitley say, many years ago in a seminar. 

There are a myriad of ways we can answer the question of how to love. A book I once read spoke of three A's. I only remember two of the A's for sure right now, acceptance and approval. I think the third was probably appreciation. (I wish I could remember the title or author of the book, but I cannot.) 

As I first read that book, long ago, I remember feeling that yes, I could accept people as having been created by a loving God and that he ultimately wants each and every one of us to go to heaven; but what about approval? What if I think the way someone thinks or the things this person does are wrong? Well, we don't have to approve of everything; we can look for things we do approve. We can, as Denis Waitley said, "look for good". 

Most people we meet or interact with – for example, relatives, neighbors, co-workers – have some virtues or customs we can approve of. In addition, even if we don't approve of someone's views or some of their actions, there's another thing to consider also, and it's very important:  We don't know anyone's intentions. Only God knows what is in anyone's heart. 

So, we can accept people as God's most beautiful creation. We can approve of their good qualities, while not judging their intention regarding values we don't share in common. 

And how do we appreciate them? 

We can appreciate people by showing them gratitude for their service and their gifts. By gifts, I don't mean presents, so much as their talents and contributions, be it big or small, be it some great work or a smile. 

We can also appreciate their humanness. If they are suffering, we can empathize with them. We can let them know that we hear them or see them, that they are of value to us. 

 All of these things can be done whether we are avoiding our differences (as we often do in the workplace, and as we must do on various Facebook groups I'm on) or whether we discuss our differences. My neighbor and I can discuss gardening and our yards, and bring each other mail that was mis-delivered; disagree about some of our opinions; and rejoice over one another's new car, job, or job promotion. Those things are not mutually exclusive. 

We can disagree with people, even strongly, and at the same time, practice acceptance, approval, and appreciation.