Deaf in One Ear

I don't know if I will send this to anyone (other than posting it here), but it's what I would like to say, if I do.

Dear Friends,

Some of you know, but I don’t know if you all do, that I am totally deaf in one ear. I tell my boys who are blind (one blind, one legally blind) to tell people things they should know about their disability, and it occurred to me today that I guess maybe I should do the same about my hearing impairment.

Here are some ways I’m affected:

1. I don’t hear ANYTHING out of my right ear. My sister says “Left is right and right is wrong.” But you don’t have to remember which side it is (sometimes even I have to stop and think. LOL). If you are on the wrong side, I will tell you…or ignore you but it will not be on purpose.
2. Sometimes I think I’m talking very softly…just for you and me, but in reality others can hear. Sometimes I think I’m speaking in a normal speaking voice, but in reality, I’m projecting too much. I apologize for that.
3. I have no idea where a sound is coming from. It’s all coming from one place, as far as I’m concerned.
4. If there are a lot of sounds in an area, or one noisy sound, I might not hear the sound you want me to hear (such as your voice), maybe even if you’re on my left side. The sounds are all coming together into one place.
5. If you need to get my attention right away and you feel the only way is to say my name loudly, I will probably understand. But once you have my attention, you can usually talk the same as you would to anyone else…unless there is a lot of background noise. Even then, as long as I can look at you, I can usually understand better when you speak at the same volume you would to anyone else.
6. If there’s a group conversation, and I’m not looking directly at the speaker, I might join in a conversation inappropriately because I’m responding to what I heard before you said the next thing, which I didn’t hear. Or I might respond to what I thought I heard, not realizing I heard it incorrectly.
7. I can sometimes hear things you might think I can’t. Someone used to say, “How did you hear that?!” Yes, sometimes I can hear things that are said across a room, around a corner, behind me, spoken softly. I’m not trying to eavesdrop. It’s just that it depends on whether I’m focused inside my head or aware of my surroundings at that moment, and also on how many other sounds are going on at the same time.
8. But don’t worry. When I overhear something, I either check it out with you to be sure I get it right (if I think it’s important enough) or, more often, just take it no further.

Thanks for listening. :) And I’m not asking you to remember all this or do anything in particular. Just please understand that I’m not trying to ignore you, nor to be annoying, nor stupid. I simply don’t hear as well as you do.

If I trust in God, will I get what I want?

I've always had a bit of a challenge with trust. Not in all ways. I trust my husband to be faithful to me and love me always. I trust my children to always stay in touch with me in love.

I trust God to always care for us in His loving providence. But do I always act like I trust Him to take care of us? I'm sorry to say, not always. Why not?

Shortly before my dear friend and co-worker died recently - a day or two before she first went unexpectedly to the hospital in what would be her final weeks - we had one of our deep discussions. Somehow we got onto the subject of trust in God. Usually when this topic came up, it would be me worrying about something and her saying simply, "Give it to God" or "God's got it" or chidingly, "You of all people..." In response to that last one, I would think, as we sometimes think toward God, "Why me?" Only I was thinking, "Why me, 'of all people'?" Because I'm Catholic? Because I have a strong faith? Does that mean I'm not going to worry about anything?

That last day, we went further in the discussion. I explained that I trust God, but, I admitted with a smile, I'm afraid he's going to allow things I'm not going to like (it's happened before, right?). She looked at me intently, listening, drawing me out without a word. So I thought some more and I went on.

"But we have to trust him to give us the strength and comfort to deal with whatever He allows." She smiled knowingly, nodded with satisfaction, and we both turned back to our work. Only later did I discover that she already knew that day that her health was taking a turn for the worst.

Does trusting God mean that we think He will give us all our heart desires in this world? No. But if we draw close to Him, He will always give us what our hearts need, what we need to get through whatever He allows to befall us and our loved ones in this imperfect, fallen world.

"God's got it" remains true, even in the midst of the trials of earth. And if we "keep on keeping on" in trust in Him, His peace will be our reward, both now and later.

Review of Zane Grey's New Book: Union Pacific

How can Zane Grey have a "new book", since he died in 1939? His family, or his trust, has published his original, unedited manuscript of a book published in 1918.

This epic story barely falls short of Hawaii by James Michener and A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.

Zane Grey's first historical novel brings romance and adventure to the building of the railroad across America, but also reveals the vices and intrigue that went along with it. I haven't read the 1918 version, The UP Trail, but I have read many of his other western stories. This original manuscript of historical fiction neither presents Grey's usual "super-heroes" nor does it give you "feel-good" romance. It does leave you eventually with an impression of abiding love and heroic perseverance through difficulties.

Like Charles Dickens, Zane Grey creates memorable characters, life-like people with full-bodied personalities who display weaknesses and strengths.

Unlike Michener's Hawaii, Union Pacific is not cosmopolitan. It focuses primarily on American white men. Although the Sioux Indians are, of course, enemies, the author shows us a brief glimpse of their perspective. But he gives only a passing nod to the black men and Chinese men who contributed to this great enterprise. Most of his white men are "no saints", but his interpretation of his Spanish villain Durade rankled me. I got the feeling that the author wanted us to believe Durade was villianous because of his Spanish blood. In further reflection, he may have meant that was the type of European who often came to the American West. If this were his thinking, I wish it were more clear.

The apparent prejudice toward white men is my only misgiving in recommending this book as fascinating historical fiction for adults and mature young adults.

Is the Middle Class Shrinking? I think not!

Recently, I read an article about the "shrinking middle class". Just what is "middle class", anyway? And what was the mind of the writer in saying that the middle class is disappearing? Was it a "sky is falling" article? Or a way of warning us about certain trends? Will readers take it as a foregone conclusion? Or might such articles - unfortunately - serve to stir up bitterness among the so-called "poor" against the so-called "rich"?

You know, reading about this topic made me think of a thought I used to have sometimes, when I was a single person in my early twenties. Was I poor...or was I rich? I remember having one can of beans left on my shelf, and the joy of cashing my paycheck and buying food. But I didn't think I was poor because I didn't quite go hungry. And I had shelter. It may have been a converted storeroom with concrete walls, but it had a bathroom with a shower, as well as a sink, stove, and mini-refrigerator. It was really all I needed. But I know there were people who thought I was poor. Did their thinking it make it so? Did my thinking that I had all I needed make me rich?

Over the years, I have known a number of people whom some would consider rich. Some of them would make a lot of money when they worked, but then - yes, even before the recession - they would have periods of time between contracts. I remember one family who ate a lot of beans and popcorn between jobs...but most people would have considered them rich. At the same time, they were among the many generous people I have known.

Some of the people who are richer in income are business owners who provide jobs for many employees. Shall we try to reduce the income of the "rich" in order to help the "poor"? If we make laws or taxes that cause the business owner to have to pay his employees less - or pay less employees - how will we have helped the "poor"?

Perhaps the best thing we can all do is respect one another. When we don't have a lot of money, we can still treat those who do with respect (and sometimes we might be surprised if we knew what that person's finances really look like). When we do have more money, we should still treat those who make less with respect - as equal human beings. Every honest job is as good as another.

Today, more of us are aware that anyone can lose a job. Anyone can be unemployed or underemployed. And, on the other hand, everyone has the potential to grow. Sometimes someone just needs a good word or a "hand up" (and yes, sometimes someone might even need a handout, given with respect).

So I've been talking about "rich" and "poor", but I started out talking about middle class. I think the middle class attitude is what helped to make our country great. But I don't think it's really about how much money we make, or what kind of car we drive, or how much house we have (or apartment or mobile home). I think the middle class mentality that helped make our country great embodies what I was saying about mutual respect for one another, regardless of one's current circumstances.

When I was a child, I remember something my mom so often said if she wanted to instruct me in proper behavior: "That's not classy." Swearing, bathroom talk, not treating people with courtesy. None of those were "classy". Being classy, as she presented it, had nothing to do with money. It had everything to do with attitude, respect, and and the golden rule. Is the middle class shrinking? I think not, as long as we remember to do unto others as we would have them do to us.