Margaret Mary Myers

Paul and His Last Speech

2012-01-31T08:46:00.015-05:00

My son Paul will always be remembered in my mind as my boy, but he was an extraordinary man. Paul's life was filled with sensitivity, caring about others, fun - yes, lots of fun and laughter - and faith...a faith that grew.

Paul had many crosses, especially when we had to move out of state while he was in college, leaving our young adult children behind, and then he lost his vision to Leber's Hereditary Optic Neuropathy. Although this gene doesn't often cause total blindness, Paul became totally blind within a few short months (except for light perception). He laughed and made jokes about blindness, accepting his cross. His blindness was perhaps a greater cross because he was an artist, majoring in electronic media and broadcasting. He continued to be able to envision people and settings, and he could see a whole movie in his mind. He minored in creative writing. Paul finished college and, as he liked to point out, got a better grade point average after he lost his vision than before.

On the day before Thanksgiving in 2010, Paul was hit by a minivan while walking to St. Agnes in Ft. Wright, KY one morning to Mass. He suffered bleeding on the brain, a fractured shoulder blade, bruises and lacerations. Yet he was released from the hospital the next day and recovered, continuing to walk to church for Mass and Adoration, but nagging the city to put in an audible signal at that street crossing...which they did.

Paul continued to speak at retreats, help with adult convert instruction, visit classrooms to share about blindness, go to nursing homes to ask people to offer their sufferings for women considering abortions to keep their babies, and many other activities. Most recently, he gave talks at churches on devotion to the Holy Name of Jesus, and about a week before his death he met with the bishop to get his blessing on his work, which he gave. Paul went wherever he was called. He received his strength and inspiration from Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and from Mary, the Mother of Jesus. He often told me, "God is love".

On January 19, 2012, Paul passed in his sleep. We do not know the exact cause. After the family arrived in town, my oldest son Joe looked through Paul's computer and found what he believed Paul was going to use as his next talk on the Holy Name of Jesus. As you read it, you may see that it not only gives glory to God, but it also seems as if he unknowingly, perhaps through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, wrote his own eulogy and his own encouragement to those of us who are left to grieve his death. He loved to "work the crowd" when he gave a speech and I'd like to think Jesus may allow him to see each of your responses as you read. Here it is:

An Untitled Talk on the Holy Name of Jesus, by Paul Myers

You may be inclined to think that my tragic litany would make a good country music song. And I'll admit, I've considered this myself. But if I were to pen a song from these events, it would not be a somber country song but a positive and uplifting Christian song.

I am not really here today to talk about myself, but about the one who is the cause of my hope, whose grace enables me to proclaim, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Like Job, and like myself, Jesus suffered. But just as the story of Job ends with him being given back everything he lost and more, and just as in my own life I have received many blessings after every cross, so too the story of Christ Jesus has a joyful ending. On the third day after dying a horrible death on the cross, he arises in glory. Forty days after that, he ascends to heaven, where he reigns in a kingdom of love over all of us who, thanks to his sacrifice, can also enjoy this eternal paradise.

He knows how I have suffered. He knows how you suffer. On the cross, he gave comfort to the good thief who was dying on his own cross by saying, "This day you will be with me in paradise."

Every time we suffer, He turns to us with compassion, and with that same sympathy, the sympathy of a man who knows another's pain firsthand, He whispers a similar promise, "One day soon you will be with me in paradise."

It is that promise that allows me, in the midst of even the worst suffering, to smile and say, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

His name, which literally means, "God saves," the name Jesus, has a special place in my heart.

It is in the words of the apostle Paul, "That name which is above every name, at which every knee shall bend, in heaven and on earth and under the earth and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father."

Every time I hear or say the name of Jesus, I show my reverence and joy in his name, not with a bend of the knee as Paul recommends which might be a little awkward in the middle of the supermarket, but with a simple bow of the head, a practice which goes back centuries in the history of Christianity.

And I make it a point never to take His name in vain.

If you are in that habit, I do not condemn. I am a sinner myself. But I ask you to consider the hope, the peace, the joy that is to be found in uniting yourself to the dying and rising Christ Jesus. I hope that you will find comfort in His Name. I hope that you will consider bowing your head at His name as I do. But most of all, I hope that you will know the peace I do, to be able to say, even amidst the greatest trials, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."

Catholic Classics as Free E-Books

2012-01-12T10:09:00.027-05:00

If you have a Kindle (oooh, how I love my Kindle!), or if you don't (if you are reading this, you have access to a computer, right?)...there are good old Catholic books you can get for FREE. You can get them in various formats or just read them on your computer. Well, maybe not on the public library computer, as you have to download them. But do you have a family member or friend who would let you use their computer to download it and then put it on your thumb-drive? It seems to me you could read it from your thumb drive whenever you can get on a computer. I haven't tried that but I'm just trying to think creatively for those of you who may not have an e-Reader or a computer of your own at the moment.

This is not an all-inclusive list. These are just things that I have read and enjoyed...and now am happy to have in my Kindle library. You can do more searches of your own. Most of these titles are available from the Gutenberg Project, but you can get some free or inexpensive Catholic Kindle books from Amazon, and you can sometimes find Catholic e-books from other sources, as well. If you are willing to pay, you can get more current books, too.

Douay Rheims Catholic Bible comes as a free download from Gutenberg. Why the Douay Rheims? Some prefer it, but it's the only one I'm including because it's the only Catholic Bible I know of, that's available in e-format. I'm hoping the Catholic RSV will also appear at some point. I got my Douay Rheims Bible in Kindle format through Amazon for $3.99, because it is in a more navigable form, meaning I can find a particular book and chapter when I want to.

And that, my friends, is the drawback to getting e-books from Gutenberg, that you cannot always navigate easily from chapter to chapter; you have to read through from beginning to end or do a lot of scrolling around. That's why I jump at opportunities to get books from Amazon and even spend a few dollars, although - even from there - not all books are navigable. It pays to read the reviews.

The Story of a Soul, the Autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux is also available as a free download from Gutenberg Press. What a beautiful, spiritual book this is, and it's one you can enjoy reading from beginning to end, which means not worrying about navigation. And as most Kindle users know, if you have a Kindle it will save your place in one book, even if you go read another Kindle book, say you want to read another genre, and then come back to it later.

Would you like to hear how a cardinal at the turn of the century - no, the other century, late 1800's to early 1900's - explained the Catholic Faith, especially for non-Catholics and converts? James Cardinal Gibbon's The Faith of Our Fathers is an interesting and inspiring explanation of our beautiful Faith. Some things are not up to date with current rules and regulations, but the basic truths, of course, are universal for all times and places.

You can get Lourdes, and other books by Msgr. Robert Hugh Benson from Gutenberg, also.

Would you like to know what a famous Protestant author thought about St. Damien? You can download Father Damien, an Open Letter, by Robert Louis Stevenson.

Wait! Once you have downloaded these books onto your computer, how do you get them onto your Kindle? If you're not already familiar with this procedure, you can go to the Amazon page: Transferring, Downloading and Sending Files to Kindle 2nd Generation. Scroll down to "Connecting your Kindle device to your computer" and "Transferring Kindle content". Or did a manual come with your computer? Hopefully you will be able to figure out it, because I am not a computer geek. But if you have any problem, as my geeky son always tells me when I am not sure what to do, "Google it". (Just be sure you visit safe sites.) I have found it really quite easy to put downloaded books onto my Kindle once I got the hang of it, so I wish you the best of luck, too.

Enjoy your reading, and God bless you.

Organization - Asking What's Working Well?

2012-01-08T13:56:00.002-05:00

If you've been following my posts for awhile, then you may know that I've been battling this same problem for years now: the papers on the dining room table.

You see, we have an 8 person table, and usually 4-5 people eating, so I'm able to use one end for the mail. And it piles up, and around, and occasionally down...as paper clutter will do.

So yesterday a question popped into my head. "What is working well?"

So I made a list:

The supplies drawer of the file cabinet is great. Need a spiral book? Pretty computer paper for a letter? A composition book? There they are, all bought on sale.

I love my little three drawer plastic organizer unit, one drawer labeled "Write", the next "Calculate and Label", and the next, "Cut and Fasten". By using verbs, I was able to include a whole lot of stuff with only one or two-word labels. Eliminates questions such as, "Mom, where's the tape?"

The wall calendar has all the family appointments posted, and I use my purse calendar in conjunction with it.

My daily to-do lists are written in a simple 8 1/2 X 11 spiral notebook.

We can find local numbers in the Rolodex, and older contact information in the "Addresses Notebook"...a simple binder with notebook paper and typed sheets.

The shredder and the hole punch and scissors are all readily accessible, close to my place at the table.

My online bill paying is under control and on time.

With streamlined ease, I can plan meals, make a grocery list, and find recipes.

I use composition books to plan, to journal, or to keep track of information I glean while on a trip.

I'm able able to grab my Neo (portable word processor), or one of my zipper binders, as I'm going out the door.

So, with all that working so well, what's the problem???

The mail! Bulletins from church. Fliers from the apartment management. Any papers that come into the house. Oh, don't worry. If you have ever sent me a card or letter, I joyously read it before it ever hit the table. But the rest? Not so good. I stack it to sort later. And later rarely comes. Sometimes it all ends up in a box because we're having company and we need another place or two at the table.

So what can I do?

Hmm, well, I have notebooks for medical bills and EOB's (explanation of benefits)...I just need to put the papers in there. I could put bulletins and flyers in my Household Notebook. I could make a thin notebook for bills that have to be paid by mail. Not all that much really needs to be changed...only two major things. I simply need a time and a place.

Perhaps I just need to pick a day of the week to process mail...and a place to stack or sort it in the meantime. I kept thinking I needed a desk with enough space to sit at it. No, I only need a desk or system for the mail, not for myself. I already love my place at the table, where I can look out the window...and I can bring one category of mail to my place at a time and process it.

This project suddenly appears do-able...all because I started with the question: What is working well?

How about you? Have you ever tackled a difficult project by asking what's already working well?

What I Learned in 2011

2012-01-07T10:08:00.012-05:00

Doesn't the word "twenty-twelve" have a nice sound to it? Not only that, 2011 had some sadnesses in it that I wish had never happened. However, I also learned some things in 2011 and I would like to share them with you as slogans.

Before I begin, let me tell those who might balk at my first slogan - about guilt - that yes, I believe in sin. But "feeling" guilty is only good for true sin and then only as a temporary thing to get us to be sorry and make amends. Feeling guilty for things from our past life, or for things other people did or are doing, things we can't help...you get the picture...all of those are a futile waste of energy and only contribute to the landfill of the human condition.

For those who know me well, you will realize that some of these slogans are only a work in progress, not a "done deal". But that I "discovered" them is a start...not that I discovered all of them on my own. One or more of them I learned from a friend and so I post this today in honor of all that was good and true and noble in that friendship.

What I Learned in the Year 2011:

1. Give up the guilt.

2. It's good to be happy.

3. I am not responsible for the happiness of anyone else.

4. My happiness is not dependent on that of others.

5. It is good to serve others; it is not necessarily good to please others.

6. Be decisive.

Verse for a Broken Friendship

2012-01-04T22:25:00.003-05:00

I wrote this free verse (I would not call it a poem) about a broken friendship, just the day before my sister died. I didn't post it, because I wanted to see if the friendship could be restored. To the credit of my friend, she did send me condolences on my loss, in spite of our rift. But as of tonight, it looks she considers the friendship irreparable...or did she ever even consider it a friendship?

I share this in case anyone else is suffering, or has suffered, something similar, and in case it helps you to know that you're not the only one. Yes, broken friendship is a grief, too.

WHERE DOES IT GO?

The pain grips my heart.
Sometimes I feel it beating like a drum.
Friendship rent in two.
Oh, what did we do?

Where does it go?
Where does friendship go when it disappears?

Does it go into the sea?
Does it go up like a balloon?
Does it settle like dust upon the moon?
Or on a stair? Does it go anywhere?

Where does it go?
Where does friendship go when it disappears?

Is it still in the heart, breaking it apart?
Does it flutter against the bars like a caged bird?
Where, oh, where does it go?
Where does friendship go - when it disappears?

Christmas Following a Death in the Family

2011-12-24T16:35:00.006-05:00

Wait, don’t go away; it’s not all gloomy. Yes, my sister died early this December...totally unexpected, it was. As I said on Facebook, I am sad but not depressed. I’m not sure how to explain that. I cry sometimes. I wish I could pick up the phone. Something is missing from my very heart. But I am not surrounded by darkness. I don’t understand why my sister had to go away so suddenly; it doesn’t seem to make any sense. But life never does make sense, does it, really? As my seat neighbor on the flight to Boise said, “Embrace the moment”. I’ve been trying to learn that for ever so long, and I usually fail. Maybe now I will learn.

At the same time, I have no regrets. Chris and I embraced every moment we spent together. We worked together when my mom died, when my step-father died, when my dad had a stroke. We talked together on the phone every week in the past decade. We talked about our families, our jobs, our projects at home, some of our struggles and disappointments, and our dreams. Wherever we went with the conversation, she tried to be sure we brought it to a positive or optimistic conclusion before we got off the phone.

Chris was interested in everything you did, if you wished to share it. I went to Chicago with my husband on a business trip last fall. When we arrived, I let her know. She texted back, “About 5 min’s ago I told Jim that u guys were prob just about at Chicago. I guess I was right. Have fun!” How many people are that interested, and that selfless, to know right down to five minutes when you will arrive somewhere...on a pleasure trip, when she couldn't afford a pleasure trip?

Christmas was her favorite holiday, her favorite season. She put herself into giving joy to others all year long, but particularly at Christmas time. So, what would she want us to do...with Christmas right around the corner from her passing? I think she would want us to do what we’re doing: to decorate the tree; to make the good foods; and to wish every one of you a very Happy Christmas!

What Will You Do with the Old One?

2011-11-11T12:44:00.006-05:00

Or Decluttering 301

I can't believe how long it is taking me to declutter! Of course, it might help if I didn't go off on rabbit trails. This morning I got online to get ideas about whether I could actually donate a somewhat raggedy blanket. What did I find but a controversy about donated clothing being sold to Africa. The websites I stumbled upon claim that we are putting African textile workers out of jobs. So I had to try to find more on this. Is it true? Which charities do this? I didn't find the answers, so I hope I'm not sending YOU off on any rabbit trails.

I did find a website (although it was a website in Australia) that said St. Vincent de Paul gives clothing to needy people and then sells the surplus in thrift shops. Oh, yes, I had forgotten. And their clothing donation bins are accessible here. I suppose I could get them to pick up other things, but for me, it's more convenient to donate my other stuff to Salvation Army, who sells their items at what I believe are fairly reasonable prices for today's thrift market, and who provide rehabilitation centers.

As I went back to contemplating the blanket, I remembered a woman I met through my local Freecycle who deals in dog rescue. So I emailed her, and she was grateful for the blanket.

But, looking for new homes for old items reminded me of an old story that my husband and I love. I would like to share it with you. I don't remember what book it came from, except that it was a book by Dr. Robert H. Schuller. I found someone quoting it again online. I hope it's a short enough quote not to break copyright as I post it here. But it is, after all, an old fable.

"There was a Chinese wife who said to her husband. 'I would like a new coat.'

Her husband said to her,’ What will you do with your old coat?' She said, 'I will make a bed cover out of it.'

He said, 'What will you do with your old bed cover?' She replied, ‘I will make pillowcases out of it.'

He said, ‘What will you do with the old pillowcases?' She said, ‘I will make new cleaning cloths with them.’

He said, 'What will you do with the old cleaning cloths?' She said, ‘I will tie them together and make a mop out of them.'

He said, 'What will you do with the old mop?' She said, ‘I will chop it up in little pieces, mix it with cement, and we will patch the holes in our cottage in the springtime.'

He said, 'All right. You may have a new coat.'"

Going to Hell in a Handbasket - Not!

2011-11-01T09:56:00.013-05:00

Last summer as my husband and I met my fellow alumni at Diary Queen to kick off the weekend of my 40^th reunion, I told someone that when I was in high school I thought “the world was going to hell in a handbasket”. Afterward, I was kind of sorry I made that statement without having time to explain it.

So what did I mean that night at Dairy Queen? I meant that I turned out to be so very wrong! Although I already realized I had been wrong, I see it so clearly now in the happy, generous faces and the caring, responsible lives of my former classmates.

While I blamed the adults, not my fellow classmates - back in my youth, when I thought we were all pretty bad - nevertheless, I looked at all the trouble around me and thought we were all pretty much done for. Not that I thought it out in those words.

That attitude landed me in a super-strict, isolationist cult straight out of high school. No, we didn’t drink poisoned kool-aid, and you’ve probably never heard of it, but it existed, just as surely as I changed my name (although I like my current name, so we gotta’ respect it, even though I don’t expect those who knew me in my youth to use it).

Sure, some of my classmates drank, smoked, cussed, all things I thought were “bad”, because I’d been taught not to do them, and I listened, being a people pleaser and not wanting to deal with my Dad’s “Why did you do it?” Sure, some of my classmates played around; some got pregnant out of wedlock (a bigger deal socially in those days); and a few did things they later regretted. But I always knew I was no better than any of them, because I had been abused as a child (not by my own family - just an FYI) -- and I thought for years that it was my own fault. After my experience with the cult, I knew for sure that I was no better because, at the time I joined the cult, I treated my own parents poorly. I figured you couldn’t get much worse than treating your parents badly.

But here’s what I learned over the years. Life is not all about following the letter of the law in every minute particular, nor is it about what we’ve done in the past, however wild or wooly. It’s about where we are now and maybe where we are going. Many of the saints had wild and wooly youths. On top of that, even the saints did not always agree about what were the best things to be doing on this earth. And the saints in heaven are not saints because they never sinned, never had any faults, or never did anything they regretted. They are saints because they practiced virtue to an extraordinary degree…because they loved greatly.

And that is what I see in the lives of my former classmates. They are so full of love…love for their families, love for their fellow human beings in general, and love for their classmates, some of whom have kept in touch with one another a lot over the years.

I see my classmates spending themselves, caring sacrificially for a spouse or child who is ill. I see them surviving after a difficult death of a loved one, so they can be there for others. I see them respectfully helping people with disabilities. I see them going to jobs that help others...or going to jobs they don't like but going nonetheless. I see them dealing with tremendous heartaches of various kinds and still thinking of others. I see the love - the giving, caring love - and I am in awe! I am proud to be a part of this class.

Not everyone in the world is good...or at least, they aren't always doing good things, doing good to others. But there are so very many good people. Praise God, when I was in high school, I was so very wrong about one thing. The world may be filled with strife and hurt, but as long as we have so many loving people in the world, the world will never “go to hell in a handbasket”, because love comes from heaven.

Prayer regarding a Former Workplace

2011-10-24T10:04:00.006-05:00

Perhaps quitting a job is much easier than being laid off, because we usually only quit if we are prepared and feel we can handle it financially at that time. But it's often difficult, either way. I wrote this in the past after quitting a job (largely because I was needed more at home). I just decided today to share it with others. I'm "getting there" (the things I ask for myself in this prayer), and maybe that's why I began to realize that maybe there are others who might appreciate this prayer also.

Prayer regarding a Former Workplace

Heavenly Father,

Please take my sorrow at missing people at my former job and turn it to joyful memories. Please take away any confusion and feelings of unresolved issues and grant me peace. Bless all the people I worked with, and especially those who helped me and those who were helped by me. Please fill all their needs, physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional; and fill their hearts with peace.

Please help me to forgive from my heart - and forget - any words or other signs of unkindness toward me or toward others I love. And please forgive any unkindness I have spoken or thought. Grant that we may all gather together in harmony in heaven one day.

Please guide everyone, from the ownership to the management to hourly employees, as well as myself and other former employees, in all our decisions, both in our homes and in whatever work we do now or in the future. Please bless everyone with good health and medical care, and with the insurance and finances to receive the care they need. I ask this all in Jesus' Name. Amen.

Copyright Margaret Mary Myers 2011

Prayer to the Holy Spirit by Cardinal Mercier

2011-10-04T11:00:00.013-05:00

I was just updating my personal prayer notebook, coordinating the printed version and the Microsoft Word version. When I came to the Prayer to the Holy Spirit, by Cardinal Mercier, I thought I would check it out online. Much to my wonder (and frustration), I never found the long form online, the form I had copied into a blank page in the back of my prayer book about forty years ago, from...I don't know, anymore, from where. Was it an old prayer book? Was it someone else's hand-copied copy?

If you are not Catholic you might like the short form, or the first few paragraphs of the longer form. For those of you who are Catholic, when you have time you might enjoy the longer form. Incidentally, my long form, copied so long ago, said "Holy Ghost" and had "Thee" and "Thy". But I have updated it to "Holy Spirit" and "You" and "Your". If there is anyone who is bothered by that change, you can switch it back for yourself. If anyone knows where else this long form can be found, besides here, or whether or not it was all penned by Cardinal Mercier himself, I would love to hear from you about it.

Short Form of the Prayer to the Holy Spirit by Cardinal Mercier:
O Holy Spirit, Soul of my soul, I adore You. Enlighten, guide, strengthen and console me. Tell me what I ought to do and command me to do it. I promise to be submissive in everything that You permit to happen to me, only show me what is Your will.*

Notes:
(*According to several websites:
'This prayer is part of A Secret of Sanctity by Cardinal Mercier in which he said: "I am going to reveal to you a secret of sanctity and happiness. If every day during five minutes, you will keep your imagination quiet, shut your eyes to all things of sense, and close your ears to all sounds of earth, so as to be able to withdraw into the sanctuary of your baptized soul, which is the temple of the Holy Spirit, speaking there to that Holy Spirit, saying: "O Holy Spirit, Soul of my soul..." If you do this, your life will pass happily and serenely. Consolation will abound even in the midst of troubles. Grace will be given in proportion to the trial as well as strength to bear it, bringing you to the gates of Paradise full of merit. The submission to the Holy Spirit is the Secret of Sanctity." ')

I would add that the short form might even be more conducive to the above form of meditation, simply by reason of its brevity. But I have always loved the long form - I - who usually am not attracted by long prayers; hence, I decided to share it with you, the hand-copied version from my old prayer book.

Long Form of this Prayer to the Holy Spirit:
O Holy Spirit, Soul of my soul, I adore You, I praise You, I love You, I thank You. Enlighten, guide, strengthen, console me. Inspire me what I ought to do and command me to do it. I promise to be submissive in everything You permit to happen to me; only show me Your holy will, and fill me with Your grace and Your love to refuse You nothing no matter how hard it may be. I abandon myself entirely to You. Strengthen my will to carry out all my resolutions, and give me the grace of perseverance.

Teach me to pray. Grant me the grace to pray with unlimited confidence of being heard, according to God's holy will.

Give me true humility of heart.

Increase and strengthen my faith in the Real Presence of Jesus in the Holy Eucharist. Make me an ardent adorer and lover of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament.

Strengthen my love and confidence in Our Blessed Mother.

Holy Spirit, I offer You the loving Heart of Jesus to repair for all my offenses and negligences.

I consecrate myself unreservedly to You. I place all my trust in You. Help me to make You better known and loved throughout the world. Give me an intense zeal for souls, to console Jesus. Amen.

Praying for you all, and please pray for me.

Prayer for a Workplace

2011-10-02T11:47:00.012-05:00

When my oldest kids were teenagers, I told them "It's an employee's market." The market has changed. When I was in my 20's, someone could often switch companies or careers with little effort. Not so easy, anymore. From what I've heard, an awful lot of people find themselves stuck in a situation with fewer employees, longer hours, and more responsibility accompanied by either fewer hours or less benefits. Fear seems to abound, and people often don't trust one another in the workplace...and often it's more prudent not to be too trusting of co-workers. Owners, managers, and employees are often super stressed and it can affect their health, as well. Thinking of all the above, I wrote the following:

PRAYER TO THE ARCHANGELS FOR A WORKPLACE

St. Michael the Archangel, great warrior who battled Satan for the glory of God, please battle any evil that may lurk in this business. Please help overcome any errors or confusion which could perhaps prevent the business from prospering, or which could possibly cause innocent people to lose their jobs or reputations.

St. Gabriel the Archangel, glorious messenger who brought tidings of greatest hope and joy for mankind, please deliver hope and joy, as well as peace and prosperity, to this business: its owners, employees and former employees, and all their families.

St. Raphael the Archangel, powerful healer who healed the blindness of Tobias, please bring healing of mind, body, and spirit to each person who works in this business. Please promote a spirit of mutual respect among all levels of people, from owners to supervisors to hourly employees. Protect innocent people as you protected the young Tobias when you accompanied him on his journey; and guide everyone, as you did him.

We ask all these blessings from Almighty God Our Loving Father, through the intercession of the Archangels, and through Christ Our Lord. Amen.

Copyright Margaret Mary Myers 2011

Keeping Papers - EOB's

2011-09-26T11:39:00.007-05:00

If you don't have medical insurance, you may want to skip this post. If you do, I hope that unlike me (for years), you've figured out what to do with those notices you get from the insurance company, telling you what they paid, what they didn't pay, what you should owe your doctor...in other words, your "Explanation of Benefits" or "EOB". You never know when you may need them to figure out (or occasionally to question) a bill from a doctor, dentist, or hospital.

I hadn't figured out quite what to do with my EOB's. Never do I throw them away, but I don't know how long it might take me to find the right one if I need it. I kept trying to figure out how to file them. File folders or notebooks? Medical specialty? Or...?

Finally it occurred to me! Why not take an idea away with me from the medical billing office where I used to work. There, they put them in notebooks by date. Of course, they have a whole lot more than I will ever have for a family. So I decided, instead of date, I will use month. Besides annual and occasional visits to other doctors and dentists, we usually have someone going to the chiropractor every month so, for us, doing it by the month does not make too many sections.

I put the most current month in the front, and prepared a few months ahead. So it goes: Dec. 2011, Nov. 2011, Oct. 2011, Sept. 2011, etc., going back for about two years (so far). Of course, I recycle old notebook dividers as much as I can. Do the dividers all match? No. Do I care? Not at all. As long as they do the job, I'm good with it.

If you were fuzzy about what to do with your EOB's, and think this might be an idea, you can, of course, have fun with it and adapt it to your own best filing methods. Notebook or file folders? Manila folders or hanging folders? Pretty notebooks? Colored folders? Monthly or quarterly? What works best for you in other areas of organization? Just do what's comfortable for you.

And if you have a backlog, don't let that discourage you. You can prepare the notebook and start with the next EOB you receive. And then go back through the older ones when you have a few minutes here and a few minutes there. That's my plan.

How do you do it? Do you have you EOB's organized? What method do you use?

Little Saint Therese Book

2011-09-25T15:13:00.006-05:00

Happy Day! Red letter day for me here. Browsing around in Google search, I discovered that my previous Geocities website still exists, hosted by something called ReoCities. I can't edit the website but it's there.

What's more, that means that the link to my Little Saint Therese Book is there, and joy of joys, the link works! The link on that page takes you to the pdf file, which you can read or print or download to your computer...or even put to your Kindle, if you have one, via your Kindle to computer cable (yes, Kindle can handle pdf files, although you can't navigate as well as with a mobi file).

How much does the Little Saint Therese book cost? Still free, as long as you can get it from this website. (If I ever put it on Amazon as a Kindle book, there might be a small charge.)

Click here to get your Little Saint Therese book now.

Enjoy, and God bless you always!

Read Well, Think Well - Book Review

2011-08-15T16:04:00.001-05:00

Read Well, Think Well
Build Your Child’s Reading, Comprehension, and Critical Thinking Skills
Hal W. Lanse, Ph.D.

While browsing the shelves at my public library, this book caught my attention, and I’m so glad it did! Whether I’m tutoring children or advising parents, this book can help me immensely. If you are a parent or teacher, it might help you, too.

Mr. Lanse has truly done his homework and knows how to read well and think well, and how to teach us to help our children do the same. Even if you have already been doing just that for many years, you may find new insights to ponder and new techniques to try.

I love how he says, “Parents: Your kids are already smart. You just need the techniques to unlock their potential.”

He tells how to find books that are good for your young reader to be able to read alone. He says to pick a page in the middle of a book, have the child “read the page aloud and raise a finger every time she comes to a word she doesn’t know. If there are only one or two unfamiliar words, she will probably be able to read the book on her own with minimal help.” Otherwise, you would want to either read the book with her or wait for her vocabulary to grow.

Are you familiar with “graphic novels”? We used them for some of our history for a student who could read but not very much at a time…and he progressed from there to reading other books with greater word counts. The author of this book says, “Graphic novels are often a necessary step for children who need to build up their reading stamina.”

These are just two of the practical ideas he recommends. He has chapters about comprehension skills; the effect and use of modern technologies; relaxing the brain; ways to build background knowledge; and the value of timelines and drama and nursery rhymes for building memory. He talks about writing to improve reading, and how to effectively use our knowledge of multiple intelligences, as well as how to deal with learning disabilities. And then there are the lists: vocabulary lists, a list of proverbs and sayings, and more.

You may not agree with the author’s every word and that’s okay because this book is for you to read, not to give to your child. But I think you will find yourself nodding more often than not. I think you will come away from each reading with some fresh insights or ideas. I know I did. And that’s after teaching my kids – and other kids too at times - for thirty years…and with reading being my favorite subject to teach. Now - if I could recommend just one teaching handbook to teachers and parents, this would be the one.

Harry Potter and Courtesy

2011-07-20T06:41:00.004-05:00

Courtesy. I am asking for that. And so, too, I will try for that. I promise I will try. I have to admit it’s not always the easiest thing for me to feel courteous when I feel like people have wanted to tell me what to think, what to feel, or what to allow my children to read or watch. I think maybe it’s especially difficult for someone who’s been through various cultish experiences in the past to let such strong criticisms of my choices “roll off”.

Even though I’m a convert, my childhood best friend was Catholic, so I’m old enough to remember when the Mass changed from Latin to English…and it wasn’t just the language that changed. Some people told us that it shouldn’t have been changed and that therefore the “new Mass” was not truly Catholic anymore. I thought I didn’t need to attend it or study it to know that it was inferior. That was a huge mistake. As soon as I did finally attend it and study it…as soon as I opened my mind, I realized that the important thing is the essence. The very same essence is there; the very same infinite value is there.

I didn’t want to make that mistake again, whether in religious matters or secular matters. And no, please don’t get the wrong idea; I am in no way comparing Harry Potter literature to the worship of the Mass. I am comparing letting someone else tell us what content is in something or what content is not in something…comparing that to…well, to checking something out for ourselves.

I’m not talking about handing our children a book that is doubtful. I’m talking about us, as adults, looking into something before they do, or at least along with them.

And, if you don’t choose to read this particular literature and to let them read it, that’s your choice and I respect that. I’m not telling any of you that you should read the Harry Potter books, if you don’t want to. Far be it from me. What I’m really talking about is not judging those of us who do. Some of you who are uncomfortable with the books do not judge those who are not. And I appreciate that. Some do, and if you’re one, I’m asking you to reconsider.

Even though fantasy is not one of my favorite genres, I have read all the Harry Potter books, as has my husband. I wanted to know if they were really okay for my kids. What we found was fantasy, just as the Lord of the Rings is fantasy…just as Hans Christian Anderson and the Grimm Brothers sometimes wrote fantasy…just as the Wizard of Oz is fantasy. What we found were characters who were fallible enough to be believable but who often exhibited heroic degrees of love, faithfulness, and courage.

My children, who were taught the difference between the occult and fantasy “magic” in books, enjoyed the books and I would say were even edified by the values in them.

But they were not edified by some people’s reaction to what should have been our decision to make. In the past decade, my family has gone through some setbacks, the tragic death of an extended family member, loss of vision of two of our sons, and some other concerns. One friend, who knew about some of these challenges as they happened, said to me one day, “If you would get everything Harry Potter out of your house, maybe God will bless your family.” Maybe things would go better for us? Is that how it works? It only occurred to me today that this philosophy almost sounds like “magic” to me. If we do everything “right” (as someone else sees it), will we “magically” be free from crosses? I don’t think so! That is not the concept I learned in my Gospel readings and my perusal of the lives of the saints. No, my crosses are unrelated to the choices I made for my children’s reading. Crosses are allowed by God to all of us at one time or another. And Jesus said that unless we take up our cross, we cannot follow Him.

This same person who advised me to rid my house of what she saw as the scourge of Harry Potter told me that she had participated in the occult when she was a young adult. I do understand having a strong reaction for that reason; I understand because of what I said earlier. I myself “react” particularly strongly to anyone – other than the official teaching magisterium of the Church - telling me what I should believe and do, and I react that way partly because of cults in my past. An evil or cross in your past can have a strong influence on your feelings in the future…and sometimes that’s okay. I also understand because I, too, dabbled in the occult as a child, completely in ignorance of what I was doing. And so, I made sure we taught our children to avoid the occult, not to use Ouija boards or incantations or anything where we might be calling on questionable or evil spirits. Hopefully, many Christian parents today know to warn their children about these things.

In the Harry Potter books, the “wizards” and “witches” do not call on spirits. They are born with “magic”, as some of us are born with musical or artistic talent. They use “spells” that are the Latin word for the action they want to happen. And we and our children discussed all these differences.

But, if you are more comfortable avoiding literature that uses witchcraft as a literary device, because any reference to “magic”, even in fantasy, bothers you, well, that’s all right. That’s your life and your choice to make. There are plenty of other books to read in the world, plenty of other great literature.

All I would ask is the courtesy to realize that those of us who don’t agree have made prayerful, well-thought out, informed decisions; that we discussed the books with our children; that we considered age-appropriateness; that we armed them with the knowledge of the Church’s teachings…and that we have read the books ourselves and found them to be excellent literature, worthy of our children’s time.

How I Learned to Appreciate the Beauty of Flowers

2011-06-24T18:05:00.003-05:00

Grab a cup of tea or coffee. Come on over to my Reflections blog - and read about how I learned to appreciate the beauty of flowers.

The Noise in My Head

2011-06-20T20:02:00.006-05:00

I had never thought to describe it that way until yesterday when I was talking to a couple of my kids. I don't even remember the context of our discussion but I said, "I always have to deal with the noise in my head". Naturally, they wondered what kind of noise I meant. (My first thought was, "You aren't the same way? I kinda' thought everyone was like this."). And no, I don't mean a humming or anything like that. It's more like static, but no, not like radio static. By "static" I mean that it can sometimes run interference with focusing on the moment. Again, I'm not referring to something I "hear", exactly.

It's more like there are always words and sentences, and observations and concerns, as well as issues that beg to be resolved. Perhaps it's the head of a writer, that "thing" that makes me obsessed with punching my fingers on a keyboard or wrapping them around a pen. Whether it's journaling or writing to a friend, blogging or writing an article, it seems I have to process my way through all that has happens and all that I observe.

As I've worked my way through some issues, I've learned that sometimes it's better to just let some things go. Like the time we were driving by a pick-up truck and I looked into the window and wondered if the man driving was kind or if he was mean. Catching myself, I told myself it was none of my darn business! Driving by houses, I sometimes wonder who lives there and what their lives are like. Do they live happily in harmony with their families? How do they decorate? If it's winter, do they have a fire burning in the fireplace? (Hm, I could check the chimney for smoke.) Even as a child, if I saw a group of people at a restaurant, I would try to figure out the relationships. Are they family or friends? I loved being at an airport, seeing people embracing in farewells or - preferably - welcomes.

"You should write fiction," members of my family have often told me. Perhaps. But then there are all the other issues that call to me to write about them. So, I pray for guidance. What does God want me to write about? What does He want me to do with the words and sentences that burn to get out?

And that is why I need to keep working to still the noises. No, not to extinguish them, just to quiet them for a little while each day, while I take a walk in nature or read from Sacred Scripture or go to church and talk with God. I need the silence that tells me what God wants from me. I need to listen to Him tell me, with David, "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10)

A Picture Perfect Childhood - Book Review

2011-06-09T20:18:00.007-05:00

“With all your children being adults, why would you want a book about picture books?” you might wonder when you hear that I just bought A Picture Perfect Childhood.

1. I want to review it for you!

2. I will probably have grandchildren some day.

3. I may want to write children’s books again, which means I should immerse myself in the best of children’s books.

“How would Cay Gibson’s book benefit me?” you might ask for yourself.

1. If you have children, she explains how you can enhance your child’s imagination and education in just 15 minutes a day!

2. You will find a plethora of lists of beautiful, meaningful picture books you can buy or find at your library.

3. Have you ever bought a “coffee table book”? I have found that some high quality picture books can grace our tables, as well as our lives, whatever our age. Cay Gibson explains the value of picture books for more than just young children, and she gives us examples of picture books for mothers and for teens, as well as for travel, for holidays, for cooking, and more.

For the Love of Literature - Book Review

2011-06-09T17:53:00.000-05:00

In her friendly, warm style, Maureen Wittmann shares her depth of experience in "teaching core subjects with literature".

Maureen has a special talent for describing an entire book in just a sentence or two. In this thorough yet pleasant guide, she describes 950 of them. She explains various educational methods, from classical education to Charlotte Mason homeschooling, as well as how to make the best use of your public library and how to build your own home library.

Whether you have been homeschooling for decades as I have - or you just want to enrich your child's education - or wherever you are on the parenting spectrum: this is a book you will want to own and cherish.

Prayer Request

2011-06-01T06:54:00.001-05:00

Please pray for the men and women who serve our country in the Air Force in Minot, North Dakota, as well as the community in which they live, as they face the danger of major flooding by June 2. The majority of our servicemen there live off base, and many of their homes are in danger. They will keep on going about their duties, regardless. Let's pitch in for them and their families with our prayers.

What's It All About?

2011-05-29T08:19:00.012-05:00

For years, I've wondered if my blog should have more of a focus. What is it all about? Is it about homeschooling? Is it about having kids with disabilities? Yes and no to both. It's about my life, not my past life - the autobiography some of my kids have urged me to write - but my current life and thoughts and the stories and books I come across that I think might interest you or help you in some way.

I'm not always perfect...and I'm willing to share that with you from time to time, because I know you're not either, and maybe sometimes you can learn from my mistakes, or maybe you can relate with me. But for the most part, I try here to share positive things.

We need people to take a stand on the issues of our day, and I admire my friends who do that...but that doesn't seem to be my calling. I feel more called - whether here at my blog or in my articles elsewhere - to take a stand on the issues of all time: the goodness of God; well-ordered love of ourselves; the closeness of family; the love of our neighbor; and the joy and resilience of the human spirit.

So, is it a Catholic blog? Well, I am unabashedly a Catholic Christian so, again, yes and no. My belief system undoubtedly influences who I am. But whether you share my particular beliefs or not, I respect you as you are. And much of what I write is not specific to the doctrines of any particular faith but to the universal spirit of love and hope.

Those who know me in person know that for me to be always positive is only a dream...a dream so dreamlike that it is like reaching for the stars. But here, in this blog and in my other writing, I try to lift my spirit to the positives for you...and for me.

In Philippians 4:8-9, St. Paul exhorts us: "Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, do; and the God of peace will be with you."

May we keep striving for all of that, with His help; and may the God of peace be with us always.

Senior Deadlines

2011-05-24T13:27:00.008-05:00

I hate deadlines. Ouch, one of my sons (you know who you are) is going to tell me that you can only hate sin and the devil! Can you guess who he learned that from? I hate missing important deadlines, but I think maybe it might actually be a sin, so it's all right, son. Okay, dear readers, please don't take me too seriously. I'm speaking lightly here. And prospective editors, if you give me a deadline, I can meet it. The problem is having a whole year (or two or three) full of deadlines...and not knowing what they are! I speak of the senior year of high school!

You'd think by Kid #6 I would have it down pat. All figured out. No sweat. Nope! You know why? Because the parameters keep changing. Yeah, I didn't know what that word meant either but I thought it sounded good. (My dog-eared Webster says: "a quantity or constant whose value varies with the circumstances of its application". Perfect!).

With our first two, when we lived in Kentucky, there was one college to choose from (or that's how we saw it, anyway, as we wanted them to go locally). So they took their A.C.T., applied, had their transcripts sent from the home school program they were enrolled with, and they were all set (of course, they did most of the work in their high school years...not only getting through the schoolwork, but getting jobs, buying cars, paying for gas). Child #3 wasn't enrolled with a program, so I had to make up my own transcript for him and get it notarized. Just a little more work...but he went to the same local school in Kentucky.

After we moved to Baltimore, Kid #4 took a year off for the move, worked full time, and applied for college the next year. We heard they were offering very substantial scholarships - neither need-based nor merit-based - at University of Baltimore, because it was their first year opening up to Freshmen and Sophomores. Come Child #5, the very next year, they were still raking students into the new program with scholarships. So those decisions were no-brainers.

Enter Child #6. He would like to go to a really great Catholic college in another state. If that doesn't work out, he has a myriad of possibilities here in Baltimore to choose from. And no, I'm not going to tell you what deadlines we missed. I'm trying really hard not to kick myself too much, because I've done enough of that in my lifetime to...well, to last a lifetime. And if I tell you, I will have to kick myself. So we just take it from here...give it to God and move on.

But if you have any kids who will one day be seniors, I have a little advice that I wish I had thought of a long time ago. Put together (or find) a timeline...not a history timeline but a planning timeline. You can do a search. I found this one just now that looks pretty good, though I can't tell you how good it really is, not having used it (more's the pity). And when you're thinking about colleges (round about the beginning of the junior year maybe?), I would like to suggest you find out what their application deadlines are, because it varies widely from school to school. Who'd have thought?

When we get done with this, maybe I should put together (or find) a different type of senior timeline. When we get ready to retire, what do we need to do when? But I don't think I'm ready to think about that, just yet.

A Catholic Woman's Book of Prayers - Book Review

2011-05-08T06:34:00.001-05:00

I am very happy I had the opportunity to review this gracious book of short meditations, prayers, and scripture verses. So much more than “just” a prayer-book, A Catholic Woman’s Book of Prayers is a not only a book of prayerfulness, but also an affirmation of the value of each one of us as a woman, and a collection of lovely nuggets of wisdom. Donna-Marie Cooper O'Boyle shares snippets of stories of herself and those she knows, as well as original inspiring short prayers, and quotations from saints. The book is both universal and specific in scope, with many balanced and uplifting thoughts for you to ponder.

Even with only a little time on hand, a busy woman – whatever her state in life - can find much fruit in the pages of this little book, a book that may fit in your purse or coat pocket at only 4 1/4 by 6 1/4 inches. With a pretty hard cover, it will make a nice gift, as well. I found there are prayers and reflections I want to return to frequently, so I wrote their page numbers in pencil inside the back cover. This is a book you will want to use and to treasure.

Which Sabbatical Exactly?

2011-04-05T09:06:00.005-05:00

I thought I would write a blog post, or maybe an article, or maybe a blog post after all. I had ideas, all ready to write. But first I thought I better answer a text (a question from a former co-worker who took over part of what I did), and then I thought I should check my bank accounts to see how much money we have in them.

I then logged into blogger and saw that I had comments that needed to be "moderated". I ignored the one that felt like spam and posted the other two, but one of the people who had commented had asked me to check out her blog. So I did, and I felt I should also comment on hers...and explain that I'd been too busy with life for my blog and that's why I hadn't posted her comment.

Finally, I was ready to write my blog post. But something caught my eye: my supplementary blog, "Reflections", which I had created for writing longer, more comprehensive, thoughtful posts. I began reading through the posts that I had written several years ago. "Wow", I thought, as I read one of them. "I like that writing." (I wish I could write like that. ;-) ). Well, what I wanted to write this morning might be long, so maybe this is where I should write it. I clicked on New Post and brought up the form to type in.

And that's when I knew. I had no idea, anymore, what it was that I was going to write! It was just gone...vanished. Totally and completely out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind. But I belabor the point.

Recently, when I quit my job to better help my son finish high school, I said in my resignation letter that I was taking a "sabbatical" from working a job. Now I realize that when I took that job and immersed myself in it, I took a "sabbatical" from my writing. What an eye opener! No wonder I don't even know what to write these days. I feel as rusty as the nails I used to step on as a child.

So I decided to write a Facebook comment about wanting to write and then forgetting what I was going to write about. But I thought it would be too long, so I decided to make it a Facebook note. But you know what? It's too long and formal for a Facebook note. So I'm going to log back into Blogger. Now, if I can just get this posted without getting side-tracked.

Life is a Journey

2011-01-29T11:18:00.020-05:00

"Life is a journey," people sometimes say. Indeed, life is a journey, but just as you don't cross the country by car in just one day, similarly many different journeys make up each of our lives. We may travel through mountainous regions filled with the scent of evergreen, parched deserts, and verdant valleys. We may visit cities teeming with pedestrian life. We may drive through country places where miles and miles separate each farm. We may have days where the trip is fun and funny. We may have other days where the car breaks down or someone breaks in and steals our luggage when we stop to eat. But we just keep pushing onward, through all of it, knowing the destination is worth it all. And even the bad days - and the side trips we never expected - are blessed, if we remember Who is with us.

Of course we remember Who is with us! Of course we remember that. But how well we remember, and how we see Him, can profoundly affect the joy of our journey.

As we travel through the desert, the sun shines down on us and we wish we had shade or air conditioning (yes, I remember when we didn't have air conditioning in our cars). When we travel through fog, we wish we could see the sun. Yet through both conditions, the sun is there and it is good. The sun doesn't just shine on us. Without it, we would not exist for a moment.

And regardless of what's happening in our lives, God is there with us, both keeping us in existence and "there for us". Sometimes we feel that so strongly. Other times we hardly know (but like the foggy day, it is our vision that is obscured; He is there all the same).

Some of the saints went through dark times when they could hardly see the sunshine of God's presence and held onto it only by faith. Some think God allows this as a blessing (some of the saints found their greatest joy in suffering with Christ, Who suffered for us).

Sometimes, perhaps, the feeling of fog comes through illness or other problems. But other times, maybe, we need to understand better how much God loves us. As someone said, "Jesus would have died on the cross for you if you were the only one in the world". God loves each and every one of us individually. He loves each one of us more than our parents or spouses or children or siblings or friends can ever love us...more than all of them put together can love us.

Maybe I have exaggerated the picture I've gotten in the past from some people I have known. But it seems that some people think God is sitting on a throne, looking down, anxious to consign as many people as possible to hell...instead of weeping in the Garden of Olives, not only over the sufferings He would soon face, but also weeping over the way people would treat one another, His beloved children.

Sometimes it seems that people think God has gone into the desert and forgotten us, when in reality He is thinking of us every moment, and His very thought keeps us in existence.

Sometimes we might think that if we have sinned, God will abandon us. Perhaps we have forgotten the woman in the Bible who was going to be stoned. Jesus said, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone", and when they all walked away, Jesus said, "Neither do I condemn you." Yes, He tells us to sin no more. I believe that He tells us that as much for our own sake as because it is the "right thing". We can't always be happy in this life, but it seems that the more we try to do the right thing, the loving thing, often the more at peace we will be.

If fear of God means we fear to 'hurt' Him because he loves us more than the greatest love we have ever known from any human being, then I think that's a justifiable fear. If we would never want to hurt our loved ones on earth and, in the same way, we would not want to hurt our loving God, then it seems to me that may be a good kind of 'fear'. I believe that is what the Bible and the Church really mean by "the fear of God".

But if we have fear that crosses the line into obscuring our trust in the good God, if we have fear that clouds our vision of God as the greatest Love and the source of all love, then maybe we need to re-examine that. Maybe we don't really think that way, if we stop to think about it, but maybe some remnant of that hovers over us as a shadow. Maybe that shadow even sucks the joy out of our lives. Maybe we need to quit thinking in our poor human terms.

Perhaps it would help to spend more time thinking about Our Lord's loving kindness when he walked the earth. Maybe it would help to think about the praise and trust of David the Psalmist. Sometimes maybe it would help just to slow down and stop thinking about the world around us for a bit...to think about the World inside of us, the Creator who made us lovingly and made us even more magnificently than He made the marvelous and majestic trees and skies and oceans.

Am I being preachy because I've watched people and want to help them? No, I'm sharing with you because I've watched myself be influenced by shadows. And if anything I have said here might strike a note with someone - if I can help even one person who may have a shadow hovering over them - I would be happy to help, as I have been helped...by God and by his human "angels". Lots of loving people have helped me, and I appreciate all the love of my family, but I also appreciate one close friend who has stayed with me through many ramblings over a number of years, and a newer friend who has continued to encourage me to "Remember what is important".

May we all remember - during each day's journey and through each side trip - what is important and how loving our good God is!

Reaping the Harvest

2011-01-27T20:26:00.008-05:00

We tried to raise our children with love, faith, and positive attitudes. Sometimes I felt I wasn't doing so well at that...not based on results but based on my own less-than-perfect attitudes that I sometimes struggled with.

But now, I am in awe. Where did our children (now adults) get their optimism, their enthusiasm, their caring attitudes? I think they each took what we gave them, planted it, watered it, fed it, and let it grow like Jack's beanstalk.

After my son was hit by a car a few months ago, I expressed my dismay and he said, "My mother told me that God brings good out of evil."

Last night my daughter and a friend sat for nine hours on the freeway, where snow had crippled the traffic. I told her today that I had thought last night that if she had taken the bus home, she would have been home before the rush hour weather got bad. She pointed out that, then, our friend would have been alone, but instead she had someone to keep her company and make her laugh.

I was talking to a son about the job market and the "what if's": What if someone loses their job? He said, then God has something better for them.

Each of my children helps me in some way: one might negate my negativism, one might make me laugh; another time one will calm me, or encourage me, or strengthen my faith in God. With my husband, I gave my children life...and we gave them love. They give us back a hundredfold.

Little Lights

2011-01-03T21:03:00.003-05:00

Little lights twinkle on the Christmas tree. Little lights shine through my computer so I can be in touch with friends and relatives. Little lights shine through my husband's laptop so he can come home for the evening and yet make progress on the January press of work. Little lights shine from my son's video magnifier so he can read, while little lights shine from the t.v., as he watches a football game. Outside, little lights go by on the freeway, as people go home to their own little lights.

Deaf in One Ear

2010-12-29T21:55:00.002-05:00

I don't know if I will send this to anyone (other than posting it here), but it's what I would like to say, if I do.

Dear Friends,

Some of you know, but I don’t know if you all do, that I am totally deaf in one ear. I tell my boys who are blind (one blind, one legally blind) to tell people things they should know about their disability, and it occurred to me today that I guess maybe I should do the same about my hearing impairment.

Here are some ways I’m affected:

1. I don’t hear ANYTHING out of my right ear. My sister says “Left is right and right is wrong.” But you don’t have to remember which side it is (sometimes even I have to stop and think. LOL). If you are on the wrong side, I will tell you…or ignore you but it will not be on purpose.
2. Sometimes I think I’m talking very softly…just for you and me, but in reality others can hear. Sometimes I think I’m speaking in a normal speaking voice, but in reality, I’m projecting too much. I apologize for that.
3. I have no idea where a sound is coming from. It’s all coming from one place, as far as I’m concerned.
4. If there are a lot of sounds in an area, or one noisy sound, I might not hear the sound you want me to hear (such as your voice), maybe even if you’re on my left side. The sounds are all coming together into one place.
5. If you need to get my attention right away and you feel the only way is to say my name loudly, I will probably understand. But once you have my attention, you can usually talk the same as you would to anyone else…unless there is a lot of background noise. Even then, as long as I can look at you, I can usually understand better when you speak at the same volume you would to anyone else.
6. If there’s a group conversation, and I’m not looking directly at the speaker, I might join in a conversation inappropriately because I’m responding to what I heard before you said the next thing, which I didn’t hear. Or I might respond to what I thought I heard, not realizing I heard it incorrectly.
7. I can sometimes hear things you might think I can’t. Someone used to say, “How did you hear that?!” Yes, sometimes I can hear things that are said across a room, around a corner, behind me, spoken softly. I’m not trying to eavesdrop. It’s just that it depends on whether I’m focused inside my head or aware of my surroundings at that moment, and also on how many other sounds are going on at the same time.
8. But don’t worry. When I overhear something, I either check it out with you to be sure I get it right (if I think it’s important enough) or, more often, just take it no further.

Thanks for listening. :) And I’m not asking you to remember all this or do anything in particular. Just please understand that I’m not trying to ignore you, nor to be annoying, nor stupid. I simply don’t hear as well as you do.

If I trust in God, will I get what I want?

2010-11-06T07:58:00.007-05:00

I've always had a bit of a challenge with trust. Not in all ways. I trust my husband to be faithful to me and love me always. I trust my children to always stay in touch with me in love.

I trust God to always care for us in His loving providence. But do I always act like I trust Him to take care of us? I'm sorry to say, not always. Why not?

Shortly before my dear friend and co-worker died recently - a day or two before she first went unexpectedly to the hospital in what would be her final weeks - we had one of our deep discussions. Somehow we got onto the subject of trust in God. Usually when this topic came up, it would be me worrying about something and her saying simply, "Give it to God" or "God's got it" or chidingly, "You of all people..." In response to that last one, I would think, as we sometimes think toward God, "Why me?" Only I was thinking, "Why me, 'of all people'?" Because I'm Catholic? Because I have a strong faith? Does that mean I'm not going to worry about anything?

That last day, we went further in the discussion. I explained that I trust God, but, I admitted with a smile, I'm afraid he's going to allow things I'm not going to like (it's happened before, right?). She looked at me intently, listening, drawing me out without a word. So I thought some more and I went on.

"But we have to trust him to give us the strength and comfort to deal with whatever He allows." She smiled knowingly, nodded with satisfaction, and we both turned back to our work. Only later did I discover that she already knew that day that her health was taking a turn for the worst.

Does trusting God mean that we think He will give us all our heart desires in this world? No. But if we draw close to Him, He will always give us what our hearts need, what we need to get through whatever He allows to befall us and our loved ones in this imperfect, fallen world.

"God's got it" remains true, even in the midst of the trials of earth. And if we "keep on keeping on" in trust in Him, His peace will be our reward, both now and later.

Review of Zane Grey's New Book: Union Pacific

2010-10-01T08:11:00.004-05:00

How can Zane Grey have a "new book", since he died in 1939? His family, or his trust, has published his original, unedited manuscript of a book published in 1918.

This epic story barely falls short of Hawaii by James Michener and A Tale of Two Cities by Charles Dickens.

Zane Grey's first historical novel brings romance and adventure to the building of the railroad across America, but also reveals the vices and intrigue that went along with it. I haven't read the 1918 version, The UP Trail, but I have read many of his other western stories. This original manuscript of historical fiction neither presents Grey's usual "super-heroes" nor does it give you "feel-good" romance. It does leave you eventually with an impression of abiding love and heroic perseverance through difficulties.

Like Charles Dickens, Zane Grey creates memorable characters, life-like people with full-bodied personalities who display weaknesses and strengths.

Unlike Michener's Hawaii, Union Pacific is not cosmopolitan. It focuses primarily on American white men. Although the Sioux Indians are, of course, enemies, the author shows us a brief glimpse of their perspective. But he gives only a passing nod to the black men and Chinese men who contributed to this great enterprise. Most of his white men are "no saints", but his interpretation of his Spanish villain Durade rankled me. I got the feeling that the author wanted us to believe Durade was villianous because of his Spanish blood. In further reflection, he may have meant that was the type of European who often came to the American West. If this were his thinking, I wish it were more clear.

The apparent prejudice toward white men is my only misgiving in recommending this book as fascinating historical fiction for adults and mature young adults.

Is the Middle Class Shrinking? I think not!

2010-07-25T11:17:00.019-05:00

Recently, I read an article about the "shrinking middle class". Just what is "middle class", anyway? And what was the mind of the writer in saying that the middle class is disappearing? Was it a "sky is falling" article? Or a way of warning us about certain trends? Will readers take it as a foregone conclusion? Or might such articles - unfortunately - serve to stir up bitterness among the so-called "poor" against the so-called "rich"?

You know, reading about this topic made me think of a thought I used to have sometimes, when I was a single person in my early twenties. Was I poor...or was I rich? I remember having one can of beans left on my shelf, and the joy of cashing my paycheck and buying food. But I didn't think I was poor because I didn't quite go hungry. And I had shelter. It may have been a converted storeroom with concrete walls, but it had a bathroom with a shower, as well as a sink, stove, and mini-refrigerator. It was really all I needed. But I know there were people who thought I was poor. Did their thinking it make it so? Did my thinking that I had all I needed make me rich?

Over the years, I have known a number of people whom some would consider rich. Some of them would make a lot of money when they worked, but then - yes, even before the recession - they would have periods of time between contracts. I remember one family who ate a lot of beans and popcorn between jobs...but most people would have considered them rich. At the same time, they were among the many generous people I have known.

Some of the people who are richer in income are business owners who provide jobs for many employees. Shall we try to reduce the income of the "rich" in order to help the "poor"? If we make laws or taxes that cause the business owner to have to pay his employees less - or pay less employees - how will we have helped the "poor"?

Perhaps the best thing we can all do is respect one another. When we don't have a lot of money, we can still treat those who do with respect (and sometimes we might be surprised if we knew what that person's finances really look like). When we do have more money, we should still treat those who make less with respect - as equal human beings. Every honest job is as good as another.

Today, more of us are aware that anyone can lose a job. Anyone can be unemployed or underemployed. And, on the other hand, everyone has the potential to grow. Sometimes someone just needs a good word or a "hand up" (and yes, sometimes someone might even need a handout, given with respect).

So I've been talking about "rich" and "poor", but I started out talking about middle class. I think the middle class attitude is what helped to make our country great. But I don't think it's really about how much money we make, or what kind of car we drive, or how much house we have (or apartment or mobile home). I think the middle class mentality that helped make our country great embodies what I was saying about mutual respect for one another, regardless of one's current circumstances.

When I was a child, I remember something my mom so often said if she wanted to instruct me in proper behavior: "That's not classy." Swearing, bathroom talk, not treating people with courtesy. None of those were "classy". Being classy, as she presented it, had nothing to do with money. It had everything to do with attitude, respect, and and the golden rule. Is the middle class shrinking? I think not, as long as we remember to do unto others as we would have them do to us.

"The" Catholic Homeschool Magazine

2010-06-25T09:53:00.012-05:00

I don't know if there's more than one Catholic homeschool magazine out there. Definitely, there are newsletters, websites, blogs, and a myriad of resources and support. But the only actual print magazine specifically for Catholic homeschoolers, that I am aware of, is Mater et Magistra, formerly Heart and Mind.

I received a subscription to this magazine, thanks to a give-away on my blogger friend Alicia's Studeo blog some weeks ago.

Being almost finished with homeschooling (my youngest is finishing up his junior year in high school), one might think I would not get much out of an issue focused primarily on the little ones: toddlers, preschoolers, and the primary grades. On the contrary, being passionate about educational methods, and being a writer of children's books, I was fascinated by all of it, and it is a "keeper".

I don't know what the theme of the next issue will be, but I can only look forward with joy to receiving it, knowing what a great job the editor and writers have done with this issue.

This magazine is about wonder and love and all the beautiful things of childhood. I highly recommend it!

Weekly Household Schedule

2010-06-21T21:03:00.007-05:00

Tonight I got an idea. Perhaps assigning certain types of jobs to different days might help me to keep my sanity and to accomplish more. So I wrote up a plan. If it works for me, I'll try to remember to come back and tell you about it.

LIVING AREAS – Monday/Tuesday

Mental:
Process mail. Straighten.
Pay bills.
Balance checkbooks.
Sort papers.
Make business phone calls.

Physical:
Straighten.
Dust.
Vacuum living area.
Decorate.

EDUCATION - Wednesday

Mental:
Check Peter’s work.
Discuss progress with Peter.
Plan curriculum.
Work on my personal goals and study plans.

Physical:
Gather library books.
Return library books.
Distribute surplus books.

KITCHEN – Thursday/Friday

Mental:
Plan meals.
Make shopping list.
Process coupons.
Explore recipe ideas.
Pre-process foods.

Physical:
Clean refrigerator.
Organize cupboards.
Clean counters and boards.
Mop.
Shop.

BED AND BATH - Saturday

Mental:
Plan clothing needs.
Mend.
Iron, if needed.
Choose any items to give away.

Physical:
Clean bathrooms.
Dust bedroom.
Vacuum bedroom and hallway.
Change bedding.

Clutter (or Declutter) the Little Way

2010-06-13T19:47:00.010-05:00

The clutter is back. Oh wait. It never left. I tried; I really did. But when you get rid of a few things at a time, sometimes it's one step forward, one step back.

I used Freecycle to give away a crock pot carrier and an oversized duffel bag. I gave a pre-paid phone and a hoodie to a friend. I took my library books back to the library.

Then I cut coupons and checked sales, and over-stocked on groceries. I bought Peter's schoolbooks for next year. I brought home five books from the library.

All of that would be okay if I had ample "homes" for everything. But all of that replaced what I gave away...and what I gave away was already taking up a little bit of "extra" space.

You might be shaking your head at me as a hopeless case...or you might relate. If you relate, then I have a word for both of us: No. We can't give up. What if I had given up a long time ago? What if I had not given things away and taken back the library books? I would have even less space, wouldn't I? (not to speak of a large library fine).

When we can declutter in a big way, it's so much better. But when we can only declutter in little ways, that's good too. And when I can only sit and read, I can get inspiration to keep it moving.

Here I would like to share with you some of what inspires me tonight:

Unclutter Tips These are great tips for deciding whether to keep an item or give it up.

Workspace of the Week: Classrooms are Workspaces, too.
Although I don't have little ones anymore, I love the baskets and the picture labels here...and the idea that our workspace might be a kitchen or a workbench, wherever it is that we work.

And the ultimate jump-start (and follow-through): 18 Five-Minute Decluttering Tips to Start Conquering Your Mess.

Keeping Papers - The Joy of Notebooks

2010-05-30T08:48:00.017-05:00

This morning I was reading through my blog and came across a post in which I promised to share with you more about my organizational system for papers. Me?? I who have papers growing out of my carpet like toadstools? Okay, that was an exaggeration, and leads me a bit off-topic. Yes, when we lived in Kentucky, after our basement carpet flooded, toadstools grew. And not to worry, we tore out the carpet and replaced it with tile...after putting in a sump pump. But I digress.

How is it that I can have boxes and stacks of unsorted papers, and yet tell you how to be organized? For one thing, if I can do it, you can do it. And even thought you might already be doing it better than I am, there might be some little tidbit here that will inspire you with an idea of how to tweak what you've got.

In my previous post on Keeping Papers, I talked about keeping a portable file box with each family member's most important records, eg. birth, baptism, immunizations, diplomas.

My second line of attack is notebooks (also sometimes called binders; in other words, I am NOT talking about spiral notebooks here, but the kind you put papers in and take papers out...and hopefully put them back in again!).

Many years ago I began a "Household Notebook" when I read about the concept at Organized Home.Com. Since then, my notebook habit has grown to one notebook for each of several categories.

I have a notebook for Paying Bills (I call it something else in case anyone ever breaks into my home...although, really, if someone else wants to pay my bills, they are welcome to). In this notebook, I have my bill-paying spreadsheet; my budget; my plan for paying off debt; and copies of the most recent payments (okay, more than the most recent, but that would be the ideal).

I have a Medical Notebook for important information (diagnoses, allergies, surgeries); fee tickets (receipts); and bills. When there's been some mis-communication somewhere and our insurance hasn't paid a bill - and I have to call them (again) - I can readily locate all the information I need. Do I have every single piece of information in this notebook that should be in it? Do you need to ask that question? (Remember my piles.) But again, I always figure that waiting for perfection does not get the job done, and I just do the best I can.

Another notebook I have is my Addresses Notebook. Perhaps this would be better served as a section of a Household Notebook instead of a whole notebook, or maybe this is where I should be putting the directions I print out instead of putting them in a loose file (and never finding them again). At any rate, using a notebook (or notebook section) for addresses is especially handy when you are involved in organizations that pass out sheets (or send Excel spreadsheets) of contact information, such as baseball, choir, or etc.

Family Recipes is another category of notebook, one which is bursting at the seams. After printing an e-book about freezer cooking, I made an Appliance Cooking notebook and put the e-book in there, adding my own crockpot recipes, and hints for using the rice cooker. (Oh, how I love my appliances.)

Of course, we have our notebooks for homeschooling, too, and I have a writing notebook or two or three. You can organize according to your own needs, hobbies, and passions.

Not all my papers are in notebooks. No, I'm not referring to the unsorted papers; I mean that I also have files in a file cabinet. But I have found that notebooks are the easiest to use for the papers I want to see at a glance - or "grab and go": go call, go copy, or go cook.

What do you need to set up a system of notebooks? Notebooks (yeah, I know you knew that), dividers, something to label the notebooks with, and a three-hole-punch (not all of these are expensive).

Do any of you use a notebook system? I'd love to hear your ideas, as well as input from anyone who decides to try it.

If you have health insurance...

2010-04-10T21:34:00.007-05:00

Never mind for just a moment the health insurance debate. That's not what I'm talking about here. What I'm talking about is: If you already do have health insurance, how can you avoid pitfalls? (If you don't have insurance, I can only say I'm sorry. I know there are people who manage medical care without it, but it's not my field of expertise.).

Years ago, I remember having insurance but not even giving the details of it a second thought. We had it, it covered anything and everything, and that was that...or so I thought. But then we'd get a bill from the doctor's office. We had entered a world of co-pays, deductibles, in-network benefits and out-of-network benefits.

Later I learned from my mother-in-law about HMO's. When she became involved, Health Maintenance Organizations had just begun and, at that time, she could only choose from a small handful of doctors. Although I think that has changed to where one can usually choose from more doctors, still HMO's often require a referral from the primary care physician in order to visit a specialist. If your insurance requires referrals, please be pro-active in making sure you have the referral - or that your primary doctor gets it to the specialist - before you go to the appointment.

Sometimes your company may change insurance plans. One year we had the same insurance company as the year before, and even the same member number, but the prefix letters that came before our number had changed. At that time I did something that I later thought was really stupid. I threw away the old cards. Fortunately, I was able to obtain a copy from a doctor's office we had visited. Now I have three policies to keep track of for the past three years. And yes, you really can receive a medical bill in 2010 for an office visit or lab test in 2008. (I'm trying to resolve one of those bills right now.) If that happens, you need to know which insurance company to call and your member number (and prefix).

Speaking of resolving issues, please always be kind and patient when you call the insurance company or medical practice. They are real human beings, with their own trials and tribulations, even their own illnesses, who really do want to help you...provided that you treat them with a little respect. And if it turns out you have a bill that you really do need to pay, don't panic. You can often get on a monthly payment plan.

I used to think that I could just make my own payment plan. "You should be happy that I sent you some money" was my unspoken attitude. I even had a doctor who said, "Send us whatever you can, as long as it's once a month." That's fine, if they tell you that. But unless they do, I would definitely call - no matter how annoying it is, or how fearful you might feel about picking up the phone. If you and the practice agree to a payment plan, and you make your payments, then no one will nag you and you won't be sent to collection for a bill and have it adversely affect your credit rating.

If you really, truly feel you can't make the payments they want you to make, you can ask them if you can make smaller payments. If they want larger payments than you feel you can make, then ask them if they have a hardship plan. If they do, you will need to show your income and expenses, but if you qualify, it might help. At a time some years ago when my husband had just started a business, and we had a large deductible to pay on a four day hospitalization, we got our bill cut in half due to hardship. Then I talked them into small payments on what was left. The woman was annoyed at how little I wanted to pay, and warned me that if a payment was late we would be sent to collections...but it was what I was comfortable with at the time. And in a few years, we had the whole bill paid off in spite of financial difficulties at the time.

So, to summarize, I have learned the following over the years:
1) Know what insurance you have. Do you need referrals? Do you have co-pays? Do you have deductibles? How much are they?
2) If you need a referral for a specialist, make sure it gets there before you do (or take it with you).
3) If your insurance changes, keep the previous year's information in a safe place.
4) If you receive a bill stating that the insurance didn't pay for a visit or procedure, try to resolve the issue with the practice and/or insurance company.
5) If you still owe money on a bill, pay it or make arrangements to get on a payment plan. I've found medical people to be better about this than any other business.

May you be blessed with good health, good care, and prosperity.

Thinking Inside the Box

2010-03-25T06:13:00.001-05:00

One of our big goals - with a plan and a deadline - is to get out of debt.

And yet, we just bought a used car on a payment plan.

Is this a contradiction? Well, it took some thinking, some looking at conditions, some stress, and lots of prayer, to make this decision, but I think it was a good decision.

My husband has a good job, but works lots of hours, and I have a part-time job. Our hours and our work locations do not even begin to overlap. Juggling one car for several weeks has been challenging, tiring, and yes, expensive. We have spent more on meals out and meals delivered, as well as more on gasoline. But besides the extra gasoline (on the days I took him to work and picked him up after work), we were putting extra miles on his already-high-mileage car. And, we were not getting it in for an oil change or other service.

We always thought we better get another car soon, but it was a matter of logistics.

We had some cash to spend on a car, but we couldn't spend it all. I was getting stressed because the cars I felt we could afford were almost non-existent (especially as we feel safer dealing through a dealer, and dealer prices are always higher). Yet if we were able to get a loan and buy a car that was, say, two years old, then our monthly payments would be higher than I'd be comfortable with...and this would not compatible with our goal to get out of debt.

I kept trying to think outside the box, but what I think I needed to do was think inside the box, give up the fear for a minute and find out what was possible.

One of our sons made a recommendation that had not occurred to me: Get a loan for an inexpensive car (under ten thousand). "Can you do that?" Turns out, yes, you can. Our credit not being pristine, the bank asked us to make a down payment of about half the price. "Works for me"...and it keeps the monthly payments low, which to my way of thinking is the best of both worlds. We only spend the cash we can afford to spend at the moment and we have wiggle room in our monthly payments. On top of that, we can rebuild our credit scores.

Of course, we plan to pay more than the monthly payments on most months...because we will continue on course to get out of debt!

Tribute to My Classmates

2010-02-19T14:14:00.012-05:00

"I want to be friends with the popular kids," I told my Dad one day when I was in junior high school.

"Observe how they are, and try to be like them," he suggested.

I didn't say anything more, but inside my head I thought, "You would 'kill me' if I smoked and drank, and necked and cussed, like they do!" I thought he just didn't realize that times had changed.

Not until years later did I realize what my Dad was probably thinking. The "popular" kids smiled a lot and laughed a lot. But, most of all, they showed a genuine interest in others. I'll bet that was what he hoped I might learn. Dad could talk to anyone, but I hadn't yet picked that up from him. I was most comfortable with a pen in my hand.

When I got to high school - with redistricting meaning a whole new set of kids - I found that the "popular kids" were more into getting good grades than they had seemed to be at my junior high. I could relate with that, but I still didn't feel I knew how to "make the grade" socially.

Little did I realize how my social abilities may have been affected by being totally deaf in one ear; not being able to remember faces easily; and not being good at remembering little details (whose dog is sick?). Those things haunt my socializing to this day, although I've learned to adapt a little better.

Also...as someone who had been abused by an older boy when I was very young, I thought it was practically a sin for a boy and girl to hold hands. I didn't look down on those classmates whose lifestyle may have differed from mine. I did worry about them and how things might turn out in their lives (and then I was the one who went off the deep end into a cult).

At the same time I was worrying about some of my classmates, I admired those same people immensely for all their good qualities. I loved them very much, but usually from afar.

Now, I don't remember many of my former classmates (which face goes with which name?)...and many of them don't remember me, either. But when I hear a name, I usually have a positive sign in my head to go with the name, even if I can't remember many details.

Nine years ago, I was cordially invited and warmly welcomed to my high school reunion. It was one of the high points of the last decade.

Then, a year or two ago, a dear friend of mine who is 17 years younger than I am urged me to join Facebook - so that I could reconnect with high school friends. Really? I only really had a few friends when I was in high school that I really did anything with, and I have email addresses for most of them. But I decided to try it.

I'm so glad I did! What I see, as I watch their posts and comments, is lots and lots of love. I see the love for their families. I see many long-lasting marriages and life-time friendships. I see love for their classmates and their classmates' families.

My classmates and I come from the sixties. We may have been confused at times. We may have done a lot of crazy stuff in our lives. But one thing we have in spades is love for one another, and after all, love trumps all.

Little Nest Egg Here; Little Nest Egg There

2010-02-13T16:36:00.009-05:00

Even when we - many people today - feel like we're scraping bottom in the financial bucket, even when all around us are losing theirs; even so, if we have a little bit, we can diversify that little bit. I'm not necessarily talking about a little bit in stocks and bonds, real estate or CD's; gold or silver; or retirement funds. Of course, those things are great when we have them!

But what I'm talking about here is diversifying in what might seem like wee, very small matters.

For some of us, it seems to make sense to have money in more than one checking account and maybe even in more than one bank. Since my husband and I both have jobs (although mine is just part-time), we are able to have two free checking accounts in two different banks by using automatic deposits.

I've always liked the concept of having more than one bank or at the least more than one bank account. Suppose that I accidentally (physically) destroy my debit card (it has happened), or someone steals the debit card numbers and the account has to be closed (it has happened to a family member). It's nice to be able to use the "other account" while resolving the issue.

Keeping some cash in our wallets is another way to diversify. Much as I hate to admit it, there are times when I do not have any cash on me...because times have changed. My mom always told me to keep a dime to make a phone call. Later I used to be sure to keep three dollars to buy gas from AAA if I ran out. Now we have cell phones and we buy the deluxe AAA membership that would supply a small amount of gas if we ran out.

But what about the one time when I run out of the house without my cell phone? (Okay, it's been more than once, though I don't forget it often!). Pay phones still exist, even though they are few and far between. And what if you don't have the AAA deluxe membership...or you can just make it to the gas station, but their credit card machine is down? That little bit of cash in the wallet can be mighty helpful.

What about keeping money at home? To me, this brings great peace of mind. I would never presume to tell you how much I think anyone should keep. At times, my home stash has been as little twenty dollars, enough to pay the neighboring teen to mow the grass when our lawn mower broke down. I think how much you keep depends on a lot of circumstances.

Another thing I would not try to tell you (especially publicly) is where to hide money in your home. But let's try to avoid the most obvious places. I read recently that thieves do look for valuables in the sock drawer. Dang. Had to find a new hiding place.

Another place to keep money, of course, is in a simple savings account (how old fashioned). By building an emergency fund, we won't have to run to the credit cards when something unexpected occurs...for those who still have credit cards. For those who do not, it might mean the difference between a car repair or walking...or juggling rides.

A friend recently told me that she's been listening to me and has started building an emergency fund. Then she laughed and said, but she thinks of it more as a vacation fund. I smiled and told her if she can take a vacation on cash, rather than using credit, it's all good.

As Trent says in The Simple Dollar, even buying food in bulk is a way of diversifying. I've often read of people living off the food in their pantry for a week or even a month, while they pay for an emergency that arises. Yes, real people actually do this. I have not been one of them, but having a little extra food stashed away has saved me making a last-minute trip to the store (or a ruined dinner), when I found out I was missing a crucial ingredient.

What if you don't have the space for a pantry? Any place in the house (or apartment) can be used for storing canned goods...in a closet, under a bed or sofa. For ease of use, a plastic under-bed storage box or two might be helpful as an alternate small, but useful "pantry".

Can you share other ways to diversify in the little things?

Is Tipping Really All that Important?

2010-02-07T13:48:00.017-05:00

"Daddy, you left a dime on the table!" a little girl said to her father as the family walked through the restaurant to go home, causing her father to blush in embarrassment. He had not been pleased with the service. Leaving only a dime was his way of communicating that. I heard this story when I was a young child...back in the 1950's.

When I was growing up, I learned that tips were a way of rewarding someone for exceptional service, not for normal everyday service. The waitress isn't friendly? Don't tip...or leave only a small tip to make a point. Whether or not that philosophy was a good one sixty years ago will not be the topic of this post.

But is that a good philosophy for today? And, in a similar vein, since most people's finances are strained today, does that diminish our obligation to tip?

In the lunchroom at work the other day, I was reading a government poster about minimum wage. Below the list of minimum wages for different ages or occupations, it stated that for occupations where tips are a part of the compensation, the minimum wage is $2.13. $2.13? That's about $17 for an eight hour day, or about $375 for a month. Is that a fair wage? Only if the person really does receive a "fair" share of adequate tips. In some fields of business, tips are definitely an expectation, certainly not an "extra".

But what if the waitress is not friendly and upbeat? What if the waiter spills the soup? Do you know what they might be going through? Maybe a family member just lost his job. Maybe a close friend died, or a child is sick at home. Work ethic is strong. Sometimes a service person has done a lot just to get to work today.

What amount of tip is adequate? And what amount of tip is generous or rewards exceptional service? By the time I was in my teens, 10% was a standard tip for a waiter or waitress. It later climbed to 15%. From what I've heard, occasional patrons, often my age or older, still think that 10% or 15% are good tips...or maybe a five dollar bill, regardless of the cost of the service. But my understanding is that 20% is a standard tip now for a waiter or waitress, as well as for some other services. We can always give more, if we want to be generous or reward the extra mile.

But what if you don't have enough money to pay for a restaurant meal and a tip too? You know what I'm going to say, don't you? No, actually, I'm not going to tell you not to go out to eat. When I don't feel I can afford a meal and a tip, but we have enough for a meal - or we're traveling and we just need to keep the overall costs down - then we go to what I call a "deli-type restaurant". Think: Subway, Noodles and Company, Chipotles. I'm sure there are many more. It's a step beyond fast foods and you can sit down to eat, but tipping is not necessary. On our last trip, we ate most of our meals in deli-type restaurants and then had one nice meal at the Olive Garden.

Buffet restaurants are another option. Old Country Buffet, Ryan's Steak House, Golden Corral are some possibilities where you don't receive full service from a waitperson. Instead of thinking "no tip" here, we think "less tip". In some of these, you still have a host or hostess who brings you drinks, refills, and clean plates. That person still deserves a tip; it just doesn't have to be the same as for a full service restaurant.

To help with how much to tip, as well as who else, besides restaurant waiters and waitresses, should be tipped,I recommend doing online searches. But then, when you do, use your judgment. I've been surprised (and a little bit embarrassed) to find out about services I maybe should have tipped and have not in the past. We can always learn and grow.

I've also been surprised by some sites saying you need not tip this or that service person...or to tip only a little for this or that. I have family members who depend on tips as part of their income, so I get frustrated when someone suggests not tipping...and I have found counter suggestions to each these suggestions.

I've read that some customs have changed. For example, years ago, it wasn't customary to tip the owner of a beauty salon. Now, many sites say that it is. Maybe we've learned that small business owners are not always "rich", especially today...and that they, too, like to be rewarded for a job well done or for their effort in serving us.

Another suggestion I've questioned is related to massage therapists. I have a family member who does massage therapy and I recommend: Yes, tip 20%, just as you would a waitress (or more, if you wish). Someone said they want to be relaxed after massage therapy. So decide before you go in how you will pay the tip (cash or otherwise), and the minimum amount you will tip (you can always add more), and then: Relax.

Some sites also question tip jars at coffee shops. I believe that is optional, but I can just say that yes, the money is divided among the employees, who try very hard to get hundreds of different drinks just right.

With these caveats in mind, if you have a doubt about who or how much to tip, you can learn a lot from searching various tipping websites.

Keeping Papers - The Portable File Box

2010-02-05T16:32:00.008-05:00

Have you ever gone on a paper chase? I see you nodding. Yes, I have too...usually in a panic about one thing or another.

Some of you have read my posts before about the papers on the dining room table (and in my purse, and on the chair, and falling from the chair to the floor). Where do all these papers come from, considering we have computers these days? It seems I have a compulsion to go through each paper individually to decide its worth, put it in a pile to file, or in a bag to shred. Yes, I do need to systematize that first sorting process better.

Even though I have lots of papers - and the occasional panic attack while searching for one, many of the papers I need can be found at a moment's notice. And that's what I'd really like to share with you today. How do we keep track of papers that we really need? It took me years to develop simple ways to keep track of papers.

First and foremost, I keep the really essential papers in a portable file. I started this box when we lived in Los Angeles and were taught to prepare for an earthquake. In this box is a file for each person in the family. Each of the files contains three manila envelopes or sub-folders: medical, school, and certificates. These files are not comprehensive; just the essentials.

The medical files principally include immunization records (particularly helpful if you relocate or even if you change doctors).

Included in the certificates files are such documents as birth, baptism, passport for anyone who has one, proof of a disability, etc.

The school file might include report cards, but primarily any diplomas. This isn't the place for all those projects...though you might want to keep a newsclipping or poem that's especially precious.

An automobile file can carry the vehicle title, but not all the maintenance receipts. In other words, this box is just for the essentials.

Does this box have to be perfect? Is mine perfect? No. As I used to say, "It's better to do a half-way job than no job at all," meaning: Don't procrastinate because you don't have every detail down pat. My folders don't all contain every paper that they should. And they do contain some things that should be elsewhere. But at least I know I can put my hand on most of the most important papers at a moment's notice.

Next time I will tell you how I keep other papers. In the meantime, do you have ideas about how to keep the most important papers? Or how to tweak the system?

My New Thinking about Goals

2010-01-30T10:29:00.011-05:00

Yesterday was the fifth Friday of the month, which meant that we didn't have our weekly homeschool co-op and yet I had the day off work.

I had planned that after working with Peter on some schoolwork in the morning, I would then spend part of the afternoon either meeting a friend or doing some of the weekly grocery shopping...or both. But the friend had something come up and I ended up moving the shopping plans forward to today.

It turned out to be a very productive day! Peter and I were able to work on a couple of important, time-consuming, homeschooling projects before going out in the evening to his semi-monthly teen group.

What a wonderful feeling I have when I feel like I am getting my priorities right. Do you feel that way too?

When we used to be in a certain multi-level business, we used to hear different motivational speakers. A couple of them talked about setting goals for each of six or eight areas of your life. I would try, but then I'd get overwhelmed and just forget it all. Of course, I did have unspoken, unwritten goals, just trying to be a good wife and mother and raise our children. Somehow I managed that without breaking it down into planned, written goals...except perhaps for the lesson plans I made for our children's schooling.

For a couple years now, I've been striving toward written goals. I keep thinking I should include a number of areas of life, that I should expand the list. But every time I start to get past the first two, I can't seem to get the wording right. I change my mind. I'm not really sure what I want to pursue in this area or that. Slowly, something has begun to dawn on me.

Two major goals are enough for me! What a revelation. Maybe someone else can handle six or eight, or maybe another person can handle only one.

I'm not advocating forgetting everything else. Yes, life definitely needs to be balanced. And we can improve ourselves. I'm not saying I won't make a change in my diet along the way, or find a way to exercise a little more, or keep learning new things for my job. But do we need to set conscious, major, long-term goals for all of it? For some of us, I think that can be too overwhelming.

My two major goals (in case you're curious) are:
1) To help our youngest son Peter get through high school, and do all we can to help him prepare for college to pursue his career goals.
2) To get ourselves out of credit card debt.

Yes, like any good goal, I have dates set for the culmination of both of these goals. Both of these goals generate enthusiasm for me rather than the discouragement I get when I start trying to set too many goals at once.

When we reach these goals, I will probably know what new goals to set. By then, I should have the emotional energy and mental clarity to set a couple of new and equally exciting long-term goals.

A Morning Revelation

2010-01-16T08:18:00.005-05:00

The earliest dental appointment I could get was right in the middle of my work-day. Since I work only part-time already, I decided to just request the day off.

Being a morning person, I was up early that day, as usual. To my dismay, I discovered that we didn't have any eggs or milk, and we were low on bread. For once, my kids' occasional complaint that "there's nothing to eat" almost rang true. I would run to Trader Joe's, even though I had hoped to have a quiet morning at home.

Driving home from the store I looked at the southern sky and what a delight it was! Sandwiched between the gray cloud cover and the clouds meeting earth's horizon was a band of light...a wide horizontal swath of color: blue and yellow. Running vertically through it all were vertical white rays of light. All I could do was gasp in awe at the beauty, and thank God for His creation.

While I drive to work each morning, I often pray, "Please this..." and "Please that...". "Please help this person" or "bless that person". And there's nothing wrong with that. It's all good. But sometimes it might be even better to slow down and look at His creation, too, do you think? The prayer that is worried, hurried, and harried is still prayer, and He wants us to ask. But how good for our spirit is the prayer that lifts our heart joyously to the good God!

If we take our focus off the cares of this world for a few minutes, what wonders we can see.

What beauties lift your heart to God and renew your spirit?

A Man and His Dog

2010-01-09T10:46:00.018-05:00

A Tribute to Chicago

Paul's guide dog was here with us only days before he got sick, so I remember him well. I remember his tail waving excitedly when he wasn't working and I remember his focus when he was.

The bomb-sniffing dog at the airport - brought to check an abandoned bag - barked angrily at Paul's guide dog; but Chicago, true to his training and his mild nature, remained calm and still. That day we waited in the longest lines I have ever experienced...and Chicago waited more patiently than any of us.

Finally we reached the counter, so late that a supervisor had to call the gate. There was still time, but I would have to accompany Paul to the gate myself. The agent came with us to security so that Paul could bring what was supposed to be a "checked bag" along on the plane. As we neared the security counters, our agent told Paul to take off his jacket. While he did that, she disappeared. In trying to find her, I ended up getting us into the wrong lane, so by the time she found us we had to switch lanes, and then switch lanes again. The poor dog was having to weave with us through crowds of irritated people and around narrow angles, but he went along complacently through all of it.

Finally we headed down the long concourse, the gate agent calling Paul's name over the intercom. I asked Paul if Chicago would mind running, and off we went. I'm guessing the run may have actually been Chicago's favorite part of the trip. In the hurry, I didn't get a chance to tell Paul good-bye properly, nor to tell Chicago good-bye at all. But I will always gratefully remember Chicago's faithful service to Paul for the past year and a half, and his loving nature.

Chicago's service may have been short but it was a life well-lived. He was Paul's ever-faithful companion as Paul finished earning his college degree. Chicago gave him moral support and the help he was trained to give, as Paul adjusted to his blindness and continued to attend classes, student government sessions, Knights of Columbus meetings, and Newman Club get-togethers.

Nor was Paul the only one who benefited from the friendship. Chicago could not have had a more gentle and affectionate master, cheerfully praising him for being a good doggy and for his good work...playing with him and petting him when he was off-duty. Chicago gave every sign of living a very happy life.

He will always live on in our hearts.

Musings on Job and Talent

2009-12-24T11:12:00.004-05:00

The other day at work as I was walking down the hallway, I was thinking. Writing is what I love, but I really do like what I do at work, too. The two are very different. What I do at work uses my left brain. Writing uses my right brain.

When I was a child, I had a book I treasured, which we also read to our own children. I can't even remember the name now, but as the children marched to school, their school clothes changed to professional clothing, a nurse, a policeman, etc. as they dreamed about what they wanted to do when they grew up. And as they marched, they chanted, "Left foot, right foot, hay foot, straw foot".

That day, as I thought of my job and my writing passion - using my left brain and my right brain - I thought with a smile, "Left foot, right foot, hay foot, straw foot."

I think this is the case for many of us who go out to work. Often what brings us an income is not the the only thing we like doing, and perhaps there is something else that is more of a passion...but that's okay. Maybe we wouldn't enjoy the passion as much if we did it as a living. Maybe we would. But maybe God wants us to serve by doing both.

And perhaps we are happiest when we are open to more than one type of work in our lives. Even if our primary "job" is being a stay-at-home mom (as mine was for many years), we still may have another avenue of service and enjoyment, be it teaching Sunday school, singing in the choir, sewing, writing (naturally I'd think of that), or a myriad of other possibilities.

Whatever you do for love or money, may it bring you joy and satisfaction in the coming year!

What are You Most Thankful for?

2009-11-26T08:16:00.005-05:00

"What are you most thankful for over the last year in your life?" asked one of my favorite bloggers, Trent at The Simple Dollar.

Right now I'm thankful that I woke up in time to go to Mass on Thanksgiving, as I was hoping to do...and I'm thankful that I will hopefully be able to get the headache I woke up with under control in time to go. I'm thankful - considering waking up with a bad headache - that we don't have 20 or so people coming here for Thanksgiving dinner as many people do (not that I wouldn't enjoy the people if we had them coming). But I'm also thankful that we still have five of us living here to enjoy dinner together...and that the one who works today gets off at 4 p.m.

I'm thankful for holidays past, with all eight of us, and I'm thankful that we are in touch with our other three, and that we can be so proud of all of our children.

I'm grateful for a loving husband, who works hard and long at his job, and then comes home and helps here too. And I'm grateful for a part-time job that I like...working with people I enjoy.

Recently, I've been thinking how grateful I am that for so many years I was able to stay home with my children, and also that for nearly three decades I was able to do the teaching and writing that I love.

For a new and wonderful homeschool group for our youngest son and me, and an evening teen group for him, I am truly thankful...and for the new friends we have met. I'm also thankful that I'm getting the opportunity to help a friend who is teaching a writing class in that homeschool co-op.

Here in my middle age, I am thankful that someone posted a picture entitled "Thanksgiving around the Ping-Pong Table" and that it took me way back to my young childhood. Sometimes I tend to remember the less-than-happy memories of my young life, so it was good to remember the happy times with the immediate and extended family all gathered around one big table.

I am thankful that through the adversities of life that have come our way in the past years, God has taught me so much more about trusting in Him.

Telephone Solicitations

2009-11-07T08:36:00.002-05:00

I just stumbled upon this enlightening post about telemarketers...taken from a telemarketer who shared anonymously to protect his or her job.

Personally, I've never had a problem telling telephone solicitors that I'm not interested...but I know some do, and here is everything you need to know.

I especially liked the points at the end that these are real people with families and bills; they are making minimum wage doing this job; and they probably took the job out of desperation.

Counter-Frugal...or Not

2009-10-31T06:26:00.011-05:00

Recently, I posted a comment on my Facebook page that I'd decided using a disposable camera is counter-frugal. (And no, I can't find that word in the dictionary.)

Why? When my digital camera began to malfunction, I began buying disposables for family gatherings: Christmases and graduations. One day my son needed a picture for his homeschool co-op, so off I went to buy another camera (complete with developing costs)...and on top of the expense, my pictures of him didn't turn out very well. That's when it dawned on me that in the past few years I had spent the price of an inexpensive digital camera on buying disposable cameras and paying for developing the pictures...and that I had the money - at the moment - to buy an inexpensive disposable camera.

You could apply that same principle to my car. I drive a 1993 minivan with 193,000 miles...and we spend close to an average of $300 a month in repairs to keep it on the road. That's not to keep it perfect! (My windows won't even open at this writing.) People often tell me I could be making a car payment with that money. Talk about counter-frugal!

So what's the difference? And what's the similarity? When I bought the first disposable camera, there were more urgent uses for the money it would cost to buy a digital camera. More honestly expressed, there was no way I was going to spend a hundred dollars on a camera at that time. Later, that changed, and a few weeks ago I got my digital camera.

My car, on the other hand, gets me from Point A to Point B (when it's not stopping off at the shop), without the commitment of an auto loan, with low insurance payments, and without having to combine monthly payments with warranty or maintenance costs. A $300 car payment is never really just $300; there is always more. There's no way I'm going to buy a car at this moment in time. When the time comes that we are ready to replace my car, hopefully we will know it, like I knew it was time to buy a camera.

One more example where we can be counter-frugal...or not, depending on finances at any given time...is in renting an apartment vs. buying a house. People say, "If you rent, you are throwing money down the drain." Well, first of all, if it's a home (the place where you live and love), it is never wasted money. Secondly, while owning your own home has wonderful benefits, renting can be simpler in some ways, too. When the plumbing acts up, we call maintenance. When the dryer acts up, we call maintenance. When the lawn needs mowing, we don't even need to call anyone. With my husband sometimes working as many as 60 hours a week, and with me working 20 hours and homeschooling, it's nice to not even worry about the yard.

Are there ways that you are frugal that might seem at first to be counter-frugal? Are there old ways you are clinging to that you might be able to change and actually save money? When is it time to scale down - and when is it more frugal to spend a little more and save in the long run? Key to these decisions, I think, is to question the so-called "principles" that we've heard about finances and frugality...and then to question, not once but periodically, whether what we did last year is good for this year.

What do you think?

Blog Leans on Website

2009-10-29T18:18:00.004-05:00

Hello, Friends,

My first foray into online publishing was my (late) website, "Mothers Almanac". When I started blogging, I used the website to post pictures onto my blog. Then Geocities decided to close their free websites, but I decided not to proceed with moving my website. (I did copy and paste most of the content onto my computer.)

So...Yahoo shakes the magic Etch-a-Sketch to erase my website and the pictures on my blog are gone. Whoops! I kinda' knew this would happen, but I kinda' got busy and forgot. I also "lost" the hosting site for my Little Saint Therese book.

Soon, I will get the pictures back up! (Hopefully, depending on the technologies involved).

As for the Little Saint Therese book, I'm still working on what I will do with that, but in the meantime, if you'd like a free (pdf) copy, email me and I will zap it to you. (My email is margmary53 at yahoo dot com.)

Online Course for the Job Search

2009-10-24T07:22:00.005-05:00

Most of us know someone who is looking for a job...not an easy task any time, but especially during an economy where there are so many lay-offs. Yet there are jobs still out there. People quit their jobs for various reasons (a move to a less expensive city, spouse being relocated, etc.), and many of those jobs really do need to be filled.

Career Search Skills: Beacon of Light in a Dark Economy is a reasonably priced, three session online course to help your friend or relative (or yourself) land that job.

Click here for more information about this course.

Posting about Posting (or Not)

2009-10-17T20:51:00.006-05:00

Daily posts, where did you go? Weekly posts, that's good enough, she shrugged. Over a month? My loneliness for you, my readers, pierces my heart.

I need to write. I've been too _______ (multiple choice. Your guess is as good as mine: busy, tired, distracted, confused about what to write).

Outside of the blog world, I've been trying to decide whether to write an autobiography or a fiction book, or just what to write. (If you have any thoughts, I'm open to hearing them.)

Of course, I've been writing a few emails...and occasional brief facebook posts. And I've been busy with other life stuff. But I need to write...if only I can figure out what, and find the time and energy.

Life changes. I've noticed that a few of my favorite blog friends haven't been blogging much more lately than I have. Is it simply a matter of their kids getting older or is it also the challenges of dealing with a difficult economy? Maybe that thought sounds crazy, but hey, some of us are working more, giving moral support to more people, working harder at spending less money on the necessities. Even the blogs I've been reading the most lean more to frugal blogs these days.

Would you be interested in reading my thoughts and findings about frugality here?

Praying for you all, and hoping the best for your families and dear ones.

Resolutions of a Soda Addict

2009-09-15T14:08:00.004-05:00

(With my apologies to Dr. Seuss)

I do not drink soft drinks and coke.
I do not drink them. Nope, nope, nope.

I do not drink them from a can.
I do not drink them from a cup.
I do not drink them sitting down.
I do not drink them standing up.
I'd sooner eat green eggs and spam
Than have some soda from a can!

I do not drink soft drinks and coke.
I do not drink them. Nope, nope, nope.

I do not swig a bottle down.
I do not drink it, like a clown.
I do not take it from a boy.
I do not drink it out of joy,
Nor do I drink it 'cuz I'm weepy.
I do not drink it 'cuz I'm sleepy!

I do not drink soft drinks and coke.
I do not drink them. Nope, nope, nope.

P.S. If you ever see me with a pop, please don't try to make me stop. I might just listen instead of pout if you simply suggest I throw it out.

Sometimes it's Just the Litte Things

2009-09-05T21:14:00.014-05:00

The other day we helped a friend with the tail end of a move. It reminded me of our own move about a year ago.

Although I knew for a couple of months that we were moving, I had no time to pack. I had only recently begun a new job. So, I was working; I was homeschooling; I was talking with our adult children on the phone. I had to take a nap - or get on the computer - to de-stress. Always, I had some reason that I didn't have enough time to pack up all the clutter that I wanted to hang onto (that was stacked on every kind of table) into boxes.

But I had a plan. I would take an extra day off from work to pack, and that should do it. But our moving plan got changed and the "extra" day turned into our first moving day...and I hadn't packed much of anything (fortunately, my husband had, but he couldn't be expected to pack up all my personal papers and "stuff"). If I had had that one day that I had planned to have, would that it have been enough? I kinda' doubt it now, looking back, but I never had a chance to know. We and our three boys (in Baltimore) moved ourselves...with moral support from a dear friend, and moving help from a friend who helped bail us out on our third and last day...but I'm getting ahead of myself. On the second day, when I was surely going to finally pack all those little odds and ends up into boxes while the guys got more of the furniture, I ended up (unexpectedly) stuck on the phone all morning with utilities people, then waiting in the afternoon for the cable guy to come.

Long story short: I never did get to pack up the odds and ends. They came over in bits and pieces, or were thrown into boxes by my patient husband, bless his heart.

I watched our generous, manly boys - who had offered to do the moving instead of us hiring someone - haul all those odds and ends into our apartment, along with huge "storage units" for all our stuff - including two four-drawer-file cabinets and three nearly-to-the-ceiling bookcases. And I said to myself: No more moves like this. We are going to get rid of some of this stuff! Beginning now. Next time I will be organized. We are not going to live with clutter stacked on the computer table, and the coffee table, and the telephone table, and, worst of all, the unoccupied end of the dining room table (where our three oldest used to sit). I am going to get rid of enough papers to get rid of one file cabinet. I am going to get rid of binders full of old papers. We are going to find good homes for some of our books.

Fast-forward a year. I have given away a few books (and accumulated a few more). I do think I'm a tad-bit better about the odds and ends on tables (except for the dining room table, and I do whittle it down to size frequently). But I realized yesterday that the project of sorting through papers in the file cabinets and binders had come to a halt...not a screeching halt that one would notice, but a meandering halt. I realized something while I was sharing this discovery with my husband. I discovered that this is what happened:

I stopped sorting through papers because I stopped shredding.
I stopped shredding because I didn't want to empty the shredder.
I didn't want to empty the shredder because it was surrounded by odds and ends.

If someone had asked me why I'm not sorting anymore, I would probably have said, "Procrastination" (but I'm not the procrastinating type; it's always more about priorities). Or I might have said, "I'm too busy with work and school" (which would be partially true but I've adjusted to working outside the home enough now to make some time for household organization).

In reality, the only thing that was standing between me and sorting through the papers were a few coins, paper clips, bookmarks, and out-of-date coupons.

Are there "odds and ends" of life, that you're not even aware of anymore, that keep you from reaching your goals, too? Sometimes we don't even notice. At least I hadn't until yesterday.

What Are Your Gifts?

2009-08-24T20:30:00.005-05:00

Now and then I find myself comparing myself with someone else. A mom homeschools with more enthusiasm than I do, or another one gets more writings published than I do, or someone else is a better all-around homemaker than I am. Have you ever found yourself comparing yourself to someone else...or maybe feeling inadequate when you look at another person's life?

As I've browsed various parenting and homeschooling blogs, I've sometimes seen people leave comments about "How do you do it?" When my children were younger, people used to ask me that, just about raising my children (just because I had three children; never mind six or homeschooling). Sometimes the answer is that it's more about the why than the how. We can do an awful lot when we are motivated. But that doesn't mean we - or the friends we observe - can do it all; and it certainly doesn't mean that we - or the people we see - do it perfectly.

So tonight when I saw this post "How to Do It All...Secrets from a Perfect Wife and Mother", I just had to share it with you. This mother points out that it's not just about what she does, but also what she does not do. I soo agree with this. Each one of us only has 24 hours in a day...and we have to use some of that time for sleeping. So we can do a lot, but there have to be some things that we don't do.

Have you ever heard the admonition, "Don't do a half-way job"? For some areas of life, that's true and important. But in many areas, my philosophy is a little different: "Better to do a half-way job than no job at all". For example, maybe I intend to vacuum but it turns out that I don't have the time I thought I would. I can't vacuum the whole apartment that day, but I can vacuum the heavy traffic areas. Maybe I would like the house straightened up and I don't have the time to straighten the whole house but I can straighten one room or one counter-top. If you are a better housekeeper than I am (there goes that comparison-thing), you might be shocked or chagrined by my examples. But maybe there are other things that you do not do in order that you can have a "white-glove" house...or whatever is your own gift, in other words, in order that you can do all that you do feel called to do.

And that, after all, is the key, isn't it? To do what we feel God wants us to do. To do our best, yes, but also to rest peacefully in who we are and in the gifts God has given us to do...to rest only in the gifts he has given us the time to do today, which might be different from the gifts we used in the past, which might be different, also, from the gifts we may use at some time in the future.

Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students - Resources

2009-08-16T15:26:00.051-05:00

Where, oh, where do I begin on today's post? How did I get started on this quest to share so much information on such a broad topic? Oh yes, it started with sharing our curriculum for the year. A couple of people then asked me if I had ideas for low vision children in the primary grades. I had intended to provide tangible help...but, until this post, I have shared only general ideas and methods. But honestly, it was those general ideas that kept me calm and confident when my son suddenly became legally blind at the age of nine and we could no longer keep up with the type of curriculum I had used with my older children.

Perhaps your child doesn't have vision issues. I will include resources about Braille and low vision, as that is where my experience is, but they will be last in the list; and, most of the other ideas and resources should be very helpful for reluctant readers, as well. Also, I am Catholic so some (though not all) of my resources are by Catholic writers and some (but not all) of their resources may be Catholic resources. So, if you are not yourself Catholic, not to worry; there is still plenty here for you. I used to hear that the first rule of writing is "write what you know". I am writing what I know and love, and what I have dealt with. I am sharing with you what I have found in case it might help you in any way with what you are dealing with. And if your children are neither low vision students or reluctant readers, frankly, much of what is here could still be helpful.

If you are coming to this post without having read the three previous posts, I would like to invite you to scroll down (now or later), below my signature, to links where you can read those posts.

CHARLOTTE MASON HOMESCHOOLING
What Drew Me to a Charlotte Mason Education by Karen Andreola

Free Homeschool Curriculum (Charlotte Mason) - Ambleside Online

A Free Online Catholic Charlotte Mason Curriculum - Mater Amabilis

AUDIO AND ONLINE BOOK RESOURCES
Free Books Online!

BOOKS ABOUT GOOD BOOKS
A Picture Perfect Childhood by Cay Gibson
Includes many lists of beautiful picture books to get from your library or for your own person library, even including a list for "Teenaged Readers and Reluctant Readers"
Read an Amazon review of this book here.
For the Love of Literature by Maureen Wittmann
Includes lists of whole books for history, science, art and other core subjects.
Read my Amazon review of this book here.

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE RESOURCE FOR MANY LEARNER-FRIENDLY HOMESCHOOL BOOKS & SUPPLIES
Timberdoodle

WHAT ABOUT SHAKESPEARE AND CHESTERTON?
While I'm generally in favor of reading primary sources and "the real thing", sometimes it can be good to get the flavor of a writer, such as G.K. Chesterton, or the culture of a writer, such as William Shakespeare.
Easy-to-Read Shakespeare
Although I have not read these graphic novels myself, the Timberdoodle people recommend them. The caveat they offer is that although the books are written at a fourth-grade reading level, Shakespeare's topics involve humanity at its best and worst. I am thinking we might try these next year in our senior year of high school.
Tales of Shakespeare by Charles and Mary Lamb
This can be a great way to get a simple overview of the story lines, although it's not a substitute for hearing the language of Shakespeare himself.

Chesterton's writings are difficult for many adults (myself included). However, his Father Brown mystery stories, such as The Innocence of Father Brown, provide an interesting introduction.
The Father Brown Reader by Nancy Brown
Provides three of Chesterton's Father Brown stories, adapted for children (and interesting for adults, too!).
Read my Amazon review here.

LOW VISION
Children with low vision sometimes find it a lot of work to read with magnification. For some, it might always be work and might fatigue the eyes, but for some it's just about learning how to track, and getting comfortable with the adjustment. Some of this might depend partly on what the particular eye condition is.

Personally, I think it's great to let students do the fun things they want to do, and let them work up to doing the "school" things you want them to do in tiny steps. (Remember that you can always read to them, or let them listen to tapes, for content subjects.) My son learned to track with his CCTV (video magnifier) by using it one summer so that he could play Gameboy like his brothers and friends. He learned to use his hand magnifier when he wanted to look at Lego instructions in his bedroom (the CCTV being in the living room). He is improving his reading by reading articles in Sports Illustrated. One of my mottoes is: Whenever possible, let them learn skills by having fun.

All Children Have Different Eyes, Learn to Play and Make Friends by Edie Glaser and Maria Burgio, Ph.D.
This is a cool, colorful book for children, perfectly suited both to the low vision child and to other children so they will understand, in a positive way, the needs of people with low vision.
Read my review of the book here.

BRAILLE
When you think of Braille, perhaps you think of blindness, not "low vision". Actually, there is a fine line between "low vision" and "blind"...or more accurately, there really isn't much of a line. At any rate, I am glad that my legally blind son and I took the time for him to learn how to read Braille, even though it has not became his primary reading medium. I recommend it, so that your child can read restroom signs, labels on tapes, and so on. And if there is any chance that he or she might lose more vision, learning Braille now will make it all the easier for him or her to become proficient with it if it ever becomes necessary.

Kester Braille
A great introduction to Braille for the young child...and especially friendly for parents who do not already know Braille themselves. Developed by a retired Braille teacher.
Read my review here.

Patterns: Primary Braille Reading Program
If your child is legally blind, you should be able to borrow this book on Federal Quota funds. If you don't know what I'm talking about...or if you want any other information on homeschooling blind and visually impaired children, I would suggest joining the Yahoo group where you can ask questions and there's always someone there to help:
Blindhomeschooler

Post 1 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students - Reading Readiness is Not Just for Preschoolers

Post 2 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students - Reading Aloud is Not Just for Kindergartners

Post 3 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students - Writing What a Child Dictates is Not Just for First Graders

Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students - Writing What a Child Dictates is Not Just for First Graders

2009-08-09T12:29:00.019-05:00

When I was a little girl, I remember the teacher passing around this cool newsprint with widely-spaced lines on the bottom half and, on the top half, a big blank space for drawing a picture. She would talk us through making up a story, and then she would write it on the chalkboard. We were then supposed to copy it onto our paper and draw a picture to go with it.

When my youngest son became legally blind at the age of nine, I didn't expect him to do much writing by hand, as we struggled with his magnification needs. But he didn't yet know how to do keyboarding either. So while we taught him keyboarding as one subject; as part of another subject, I would sometimes sit down at the computer and ask him to describe for me a book-on-tape that he had just enjoyed. While he narrated the story, I would write it down for him. Then I could read it back to him, as well as put it in his school portfolio to demonstrate that he had both read and understood the story.

As my son grew older and mastered keyboarding skills, I would sometimes give him a writing assignment for literature or history. He would be discouraged, trying to combine his great ability to explain and describe something with his slowly-growing writing skills. The one was no match for the other. So I told him to just write, not to worry about capitalization, punctuation and spelling for now. After he finished writing, I would read and grade it for content. Then I would clean up the "mechanics" and let him read the polished version. At another time of the day, as part of an English class, he would be studying capitalization, punctuation and spelling. This has worked very well for us.

The other day I was telling one of my college graduate sons that when I grade a paper for history or religion or science, I grade that paper solely on content. Is it comprehensive? Does it show an understanding of the topic? Does it show that the student is really thinking about it? I save grading the English mechanics for English class. My son told me that most of his college professors did the same thing...not all of them; a few might grade on spelling and punctuation for a history class. But he said that most of them graded based on the class subject.

So, again, as with reading, my suggestion for teaching children to write is to have two separate classes (the younger the child, the shorter the classes). In one period, the child is learning how to write, whether it is handwriting or keyboarding, whether it is structure or mechanics. In another period, he is dictating about some topic of interest, while the parent or a mentor writes for him what he says, or writing without worrying too much about the mechanics, and someone helps him with that afterward.

In this way, the child can learn at his own pace how to write, while at the same time experiencing the joy of seeing or hearing his intelligent thoughts expressed as written words.

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Post 4 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students - Resources

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Post 2 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students -
Reading Aloud is Not Just for Kindergartners

Post 1 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students -
Reading Readiness is Not Just for Preschoolers

Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students - Reading Aloud is Not Just for Kindergartners

2009-08-09T08:39:00.020-05:00

When each of my children learned how to read to themselves, I stopped reading aloud to him or her. You might be nodding in agreement or you might be shaking your head. Neither response is wrong, exactly...and all of my grown children have gone to college...and still love reading. So I don't look back and feel that I short-changed them. And yet...

Yet, I am more and more convinced that the philosophy of reading to your children at a level substantially ahead of their reading level can be a great thing. Here's how it works. When your child learns to read at a first grade level, he can read little first grade readers and maybe some picture books (some picture books are easy to read; others are not). When she can read at a second grade level, she can read second grade readers and maybe little chapter books. Personally, I found that the Boxcar Children and Magic Tree House series of chapter books were interesting and simple enough to get many second or third grade kids to enjoy reading on their own. "Simple" is good when it comes to the child decoding and understanding the words on the page - and delighting in his or her ability to do so. But "simple" isn't everything. It doesn't always stretch the mind and lift the heart, and provide the depth and breadth that we can soak up from really good literature.

Enter the "read-aloud-to-your-children" philosophy...a thing I had mistakenly thought was just for preschoolers and kindergartners. Busy moms might say, "I already don't have time for everything." The beauty of this is that you can read while nursing or sipping a cup of tea. Older siblings can read at their older level of reading. Grandparents can read. And, although the child can't snuggle up to an audiotape (or CD), he can listen to someone who has read and recorded the literature. Listening above the child's own reading level can provide a depth and breadth of literature that can help give him or her a love of reading, a love of learning, and a love of creation.

For children who are still struggling to learn how to read the words on a page, or who may be slowed by issues of low vision or other reading challenges, enter the read-aloud-philosophy. If this is great for the young reader who is reading "on schedule" (whatever that is, and not to worry, half of my children did not, and yet became great readers)...if this is great for the average child learning to read, think how great it can be for the child who has not yet learned to read and the child who is struggling to learn to read.

I do not advocate auditory reading as a substitute for learning to read for oneself. I think everyone should learn how to read, even if the process develops slowly over a number of years, or even if it has to be done with magnification or in Braille, depending on the challenges of any particular student.

The two different processes - listening to someone else read great literature - and learning how to comprehend the written words on a page - can work side by side, not interfering with one another but complementing one another.

Next:
Post 3 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students -
Writing What a Child Dictates is Not Just for First Graders

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Post 4 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students - Resources

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Post 1 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students -
Reading Readiness is Not Just for Preschoolers

Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students - Reading Readiness is Not Just for Preschoolers

2009-08-08T06:26:00.038-05:00

After my post about our curriculum for the coming year, I received requests. In essence: "Do you have suggestions about homeschooling low vision children who are younger?" I do. I always have ideas when it comes to educating our children. And I know that if you are homeschooling - or parenting - you do, too. And I think that if I share ideas with you, it might trigger additional ideas of your own.

Unbelievably, it has been a month since that post. (I'm so sorry.) I've jotted notes on various scraps of paper (Where are they?). I've thought about how I can combine low vision with other reading difficulties. (Will it be too cumbersome?)

I've struggled to figure out just how to write this. So I am going to stop hemming and hawing, and just begin. So here goes...

First of all, I feel badly that we are getting closer and closer to a new school year and here I am finally writing this. However, I don't endorse any one particular curriculum as having all the answers, anyway, so it's not like I'm "too late".

Reading Readiness is Not Just for Preschoolers
Learning is about life and life is about learning. Children with low vision, and children in general, comprehend more of what they read or study when they have some familiarity with the topic. Let me go a step further and say that this applies to all ages. The books I enjoy the most (both fiction and nonfiction) usually have some aspect - whether geography, characterization, history, philosophy, or whatever - that I am already familiar with.

My #1 recommendation: Saturate your children with wholesome "life experience".

Our children have always - from "babes in arms" through high school (and sometimes the college students) - gone with me to do the weekly grocery shopping. I have never made a contrived teaching experience out of it, but what a great place for intuitive learning! Just a few of the things that can be learned in the grocery store include: thrift; marketing and advertising; math; foods from different countries; seeing (and sometimes talking with) people of different cultures (especially if you live in a big city); seeing different kinds of work...not just the cashiers, but the managers, butchers, bakers, and the custodians. As my children see me treating the person who runs the store and the person who cleans the store with the same friendly respect, they learn a lesson I could not teach them from any book.

I might be spending too much time on one facet of my family's education. (Maybe I should be writing a book instead of a blog post.) But the fact that this one thing has been important in our lives fits with something I feel strongly about: What is important in your lives? What do you do well? What do you love? Music? Crafts? Gardening? If you can, share that with your children. Don't force it on them, or expect them to love it as you do (some will; some won't). But share it with them; give them opportunities.

What do you or your husband do that you don't particularly love but that you do well or often because it needs to be done? Home repairs? Cooking? Sewing? Share it with your children...and you may even find that one of them does love it. (Ah, and the serendipity of it is that now you might not have to do as much of it anymore.) For me, cooking has always been something to do because I like to eat...and feed my family, but definitely not my hobby. However, I always let my children help - from the time they could stand up on a chair at the counter - and not only did it increase their math and reading (without any intentional "school-type" lessons), but some of my children love to cook (thank you, thank you).

What about field trips? It was not until this past year that my son and I went on field trips with a homeschool co-op. That was great and we enjoyed it a lot...but anything can be a field trip. Over the past 25 years of educating our children, most of our field trips have been with Dad on the weekend or on a family vacation. What's in your area? What's enroute to Grandma's house? Your child (and you) can become fascinated with nature, history, science...as you explore parks and museums...and even as you just take walks in the neighborhood or work in your backyard.

What in the world does all this have to do with reading?...or with educating a child who is low vision or a child who is a reluctant reader? Well, first of all, although I am an avid reader myself, and a great believer in the importance of reading, I have learned that reading is not where all learning comes from. Secondly, I believe that life experience is the best preparation for both life and learning.

I will write more - and cover some other aspect of learning, some aspect of teaching reluctant readers and low vision children - in another post. Hopefully, we won't have to wait a month for the next post. I say "we" because I have enjoyed writing this and sharing with you. I hope that you have enjoyed it, too.

Next:

Post 2 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students -
Reading Aloud is Not Just for Kindergartners

Then:
Post 3 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students -
Writing What a Child Dictates is Not Just for First Graders

Then:
Post 4 on Reluctant Readers and Low Vision Students - Resources

Plan Next Year's Homeschooling - Check!

2009-07-11T09:42:00.024-05:00

After weeks of research and contemplation, I think it's finally done! I put in my last orders this morning. I'm a bit taken aback by all the money I have spent, but as an old friend in California once said to me, "sometimes you have more time than money and other times you have more money than time". Not that I have so much money...but since I am now working a job, I can squeeze a little more out of the budget to get materials that my son can use a little more independently...which is good for both my schedule and his development. And since he's going into his junior year of high school, his development is becoming more and more important.

"What to do for U.S. History?" has been on my mind a lot these weeks. This past year, his primary resource for what I call "World History and Culture" was movies (from Netflix). I used the book, Learning with the Movies, by Beth Holland to get ideas, along with doing a bit of research for myself. We discussed the movies, discussed time lines, discussed world events...and he wrote essays. I'm really pretty pleased with our "program"; however, for U.S. History, I wanted to be a little more comprehensive and cohesive in presentation of material. Because my son is legally blind, it isn't easy for him to read very much at a time...and I didn't really see anything in auditory format. So I was delighted to discover the Graphic U.S. History series. Somewhat like comic books in appearance, they are written at the level of a newspaper (easy to read but interesting for all ages), and it looks like they provide lots of great history knowledge...and in timeline order. We will continue to use movies and essays, as well.

Most difficult to decide was what curriculum to use for Spanish, simply because I had a hard time bringing myself to pay the cost. However, we finally decided to get what I hear and hope is "the best"...Rosetta Stone. There is even a homeschool edition with tracking capabilities. I ordered ours through Timberdoodle, a homeschool supplier in Washington State (the same company where I discovered the Graphic U.S. History). Why did I go through Timberdoodle for the Spanish? ...because their catalogs have helped me find such great materials over the years...over the decades...and, of course, it doesn't hurt any that they're from my home state, either. :)

For Algebra 2, we will continue to use Teaching Textbooks, which we already possess from the next older son having used it. As I have watched newer and more homeschool-friendly materials develop, this has been my very favorite. The kids just pop a CD-Rom into the computer, watch the problems as the authors discuss the lesson, and then work the problems in the book. Peter has used this for Algebra 1 and Geometry, and done beautifully (it might not hurt, either, that math is his "thing").

For English, I went the "spend time rather than money" route. I don't know if there's any other way to go for composition, anyway, than to spend time with the student and their work. Well, you might think I can easily teach writing, since I'm a writer, but the one doesn't necessarily follow from the other (especially since I pretty much "play by ear" when I write). What I have been wanting, I think, for teaching writing, are the right materials. I hope I have found just that in Jensen's Format Writing, which I ordered from Catholic Heritage Curricula. This book can be used in one high school year or two, and covers single paragraph formats, five paragraph essays, business writing, major papers, and etc.

This past year for science, we used Biology 101 by Wes Olson and I was very pleased with the program, which provides hours of interesting, basic instruction on DVDs, accompanied by a guidebook for adding reading, field trips and labs to accomplish enough learning and hours for an accredited course.

Chemistry was my son's next choice for science and I did a lot of research to try to find the right program for us. This might be another subject where I will have to put in a little time - and I'm not a "science person", but Friendly Chemistry looks very...well, friendly. I emailed the authors some questions about our special needs and they emailed me back promptly. Also, I liked that there are experiments which use materials that are readily available.

Last night I finally decided what to do for religion. I ordered the Catechism of the Catholic Church on CD-Rom as reference material. He also has the New Testament on tapes. For the meat and potatoes (and dessert), I plan to join Pius Media, online Catholic DVD Rental Club...which appears to work a lot like Netflix. I had fun last night browsing the selections, where it looks like we should be able to get talks on apologetics and doctrine, as well as both instructional and devotional Bible presentations, along with stories of great people and what they have done.

I'm not sure where in the world he will find the time for this last item, but I know it's important. We have a CD-Rom for preparation for the S.A.T. pre-college exam, which we obtained for the cost of shipping as members of Homeschool Legal Defense Association.

If you have read this far, I am guessing you either have a high school student or you are a family member or friend interested in how I do it (including a cyber-friend? ). If you reading this simply because you are my friend or relative, thank you for your interest! :)

If you are reading this because you yourself are trying to plan your own homeschool curriculum, and if you happen to be a Catholic homeschooler, I'd like to recommend one more resource for you. You can listen to a Homeschool Connections webinar given by Alicia VanHecke on June 10th about "Choosing Worthwhile Homeschool Materials". Homeschool Connections, founded by Walter Crawford and my friend and homeschooling colleague Maureen Wittmann, presents free webinars for homeschool parents, as well an interesting offering of webinar classes for teens.

And now, please excuse me while I go work toward finishing up this past year's schoolwork...

Fourth of July in the Baltimore Inner Harbor 2009

2009-07-05T06:33:00.013-05:00

We so appreciate the Baltimore Police who - by their presence everywhere - helped to make the Fourth of July Fireworks at the Inner Harbor a safe event. This morning I visited a Baltimore news website to read about the fireworks I attended last night...as I was curious as to whether anyone had estimated how many people were there. But all I saw was the bad news of the day, no mention of last night's fireworks so far. So I decided I would blog some good news about last night, however few people may read it.

By 9:30 p.m., the sidewalks were so crowded, you could hardly move. Crowds scare me for a lot of reasons...the din, the uncomfortable possibilities, my being a bit claustrophobic. Were it only up to me, I might have just stayed in my comfort zone at home. But for my family, I went. And I was glad I did!

We arrived around 6:30 p.m. and parked in a garage that was labeled (gasp) "$20 all night". We decided to eat the cost rather than have to walk the distance to the garage my husband's company uses...and especially to have to walk back there again, late at night and tired.

As we walked along the harbor, we discussed where to eat. Five Guys, Cheesecake Factory, Subway? Our quietest son, who usually defers to the rest of us, spoke up that he would prefer to eat at Subway. So we all decided that Subway it would be, and we headed to the appropriate mall. I was secretly happy that Subway would be the best for our budget too.

As we entered the thronged food court, we found a plethora of policemen and policewomen eating their Subway dinners. But they had already ordered and we were able to order our food right away...however, finding a place to eat was another matter. We walked all around the food court, circling the interior of the mall. People were seated everywhere, and people were walking and standing just about everywhere, too. I was glad we had food in bags rather than on trays. We finally found ourselves back at the Subway area, where the policemen had just finished eating - standing up to an empty counter. We ate there as they had, standing. At least it gave us a place to put our food, and space to breathe.

While we ate, and while - since I don't eat as much at a time as my guys do - I waited for them to finish theirs, I watched the people...and I soaked in the atmosphere. It was a happy, family-party type atmosphere. Not everyone there was with family but - crazy as it sounds - I felt like we were all one big family...as, of course, we really are...you know?

Outside, we found a place on the grass to sit, wishing we had brought a blanket. I usually say that I "don't do" sitting on the ground, but I found out that I do. It's funny what you do when you have certain choices (like stand for two hours? No thanks.). I just needed to keep changing position, and occasionally standing up to stretch, and it worked just fine.

Watching the crowds walk by was better than watching a movie. The diversity particularly fascinated me. Not only was it racially diverse: black, white, Hispanic, Jewish, Asian, Middle Eastern...sorry if I left anyone out. But the diversity seemed to be of local origin as well as national and international. There seemed to be city people and country people, rich people and poor people...and, of course, everyone in between. There were dreadlocks and there were mohawks, and there were tattoos, and there were designer clothing and semi-professional garb. There was even the occasional evening gown (on their way to the cruise on the bay?). There was a woman in the poorest of clothing, with a black garbage bag slung over her shoulder (all her earthly belongings?), and I saw a few other men and women who looked similarly. I prayed for them, but I also rejoiced with them that they could enjoy not only this great entertainment, but also this big "family" gathering.

I saw a little girl, maybe two years old, riding on her father's shoulders, bouncing and dancing joyfully to the rhythm of the live band, as he danced to the rhythm while he walked. I saw a woman with a white cane and numerous people in wheel chairs. We saw two little girls in blond ponytails, looking identical from the back except that one looked taller than the other - until you realized it was because one was on the shoulders of someone taller than the person carrying the other girl.

And everywhere, we saw the policemen and women, mingling, walking in twos, sometimes gathering in small groups and then splitting up and walking on again, sometimes even text-messaging as they walked along, it seemed. Whatever they were doing, wherever they were, they were there, just quietly present.

The crowds had milled by endlessly, like a river; the band had played its lively, upbeat music for a long time; and the clouds had looked down on us and thought awhile and dropped a tear of longing to be with us, and then decided to keep their moisture in the sky. We had touched bases with each of our long-distance kids by cell phone. We had wiggled and stretched, and chatted and laughed. And finally it came time for the fireworks. The band continued to play, mingled with the happy sounds of the crowd. The only song I really heard after that was "Proud to be an American" - and I was.

Out in the bay, but off at some distance to our right, the show began. Very pretty. But I was a little disappointed at how far away the display was. Weren't they going to have them in the bay in front of us? And then - all of a sudden! - fireworks shot up high and bright and loud, right across from us, and there was a collective gasp of appreciation. After that it was a three ring circus of entertainment, as the ones off to the right would go up...very pretty...and as far away as they were, they yet reflected on the glass sides of the tall office buildings in the harbor, adding another dimension of beauty. Before a set of fireworks from the right had finished, the ones in front of us would shoot up...astoundingly forming fountains and flowers in sustained beauty and depth. Truly moved, I thanked God for the wonders He has given to man to use, for the beauty that He allows us to create. And thank you, God, for the love and joy that I felt there, that so many of your people could come together in peace.

Zoo Trip

2009-05-31T18:19:00.003-05:00

Our homeschool co-op met at the Baltimore Zoo on Thursday. I hadn't been to a zoo in years, it seems...which means, of course, that Peter hadn't either. So I was looking forward to this opportunity for both of us.

Noon had been our scheduled arrival time, but one of the ladies suggested we go an hour earlier. How glad we were that she did, because we got to see the baby elephant just before he went inside for his nap. While we watched the elephants walk around in their woodsy, natural environment (no "concrete jungle" here), an enthusiastic employee joined us to us to show us a model of an elephant's tooth. She explained many things and answered all our questions. This stop alone was worth the trip.

After seeing a few other exhibits, I thought we were done and I was a little surprised...maybe even a little disappointed at first, having visited such zoos as Portland, San Diego, and Cincinnati in my past, where there were always tons of wild animals. (I want to say "no pun intended" but I'm not really sure about that.)

But then we went to the so-called Children's Zoo. I say "so called" because it was definitely interesting to the teenagers and adults! Petting the goats, I think, was a highlight of the day for most everyone.

At the end of the day, I mentioned something to my son about how few wild animals were there, and he said, "Quality is better than quantity." You know, I think my father would agree. He used to object to the way all those animals were kept in cages and concrete. I'll bet he would be happy to see the natural environment at this zoo.

While I missed certain animals and I missed all those past trips with our whole family, I have to say that, truly, this zoo is a unique and fascinating place.

Thrift Shop Shopping

2009-05-23T21:19:00.002-05:00

I don't shop at second-hand stores very often, and that made going all the harder. But it isn't really that much harder than going to a certain inexpensive chain store that isn't always all that clean and tidy.

The thrift store I visited is a brand name thrift store (not mentioning any names here), which is not one of my favorites because of the high prices (the prices are sometimes as much as that chain store I wasn't mentioning).

But that old love of the hunt struck me this morning. So off I went, treasure hunting. I was recently wanting a new lampshade for my living room floor lamp, and guess what I found? Sometimes I wonder if someone is tapping me on the shoulder, whispering in my ear, when there is treasure waiting for me.

If you visit thrift shops regularly, you might wonder at my hesitation. If not, you might wonder why I go. As I said, it's the love of the hunt (not to speak of the savings)...and it's a treasure hunt.

I walk in and I get a not-so-good feeling as I look around at tired, worn, faded items. But then I tell myself it's okay; I'm not getting any of those tired, worn, faded items (heaven knows, I have enough of them at home already).

And then something catches my eye, that looks brand new, that's just what I need. Or else I leave, empty-handed, not any worse for having taken a few minutes to look.

It's funny that going to a second-hand store used to be seen, by some, as a sign of poverty. But when I think about all the "hoopla" about being "green", I think that this is among some of the best ways to do that. As I happened to read somewhere recently, people say "Reduce, reuse, recycle", but they often forget the "reuse" part of it.

As I write this, I look gratefully over at the beautiful, clean lampshade, woven with a slightly-knubby texture, and having a gentle slope. It's "just right"...and I didn't have to pay a mint, go from store to store, or even wait for shipping.

Never Say Never (or "Enjoy the Little Things")

2009-05-18T20:39:00.011-05:00

I have lived in different regions of the country, from the Pacific Northwest to Southern California, from the Midwest to the East Coast, and also in different types of areas, from country suburban to very city suburban, back to very country suburban and back again to city suburban.

Over the years, we have traveled much of our beautiful country. On our recent trip back to Kentucky, I caught myself saying something that I've said so many times, "Look. Those people live so close to the freeway. I wouldn't want to live so close to the freeway." Only one problem with that comment: We do live "so close to the freeway".

When we discovered this apartment community last spring, it was everything we wanted and didn't have at our then-current apartment complex: convenient to public transportation, church, library, stores, so we signed up for the waiting list...and soon were accepted. And then I looked it up on the map and realized that we had overlooked that dreaded thing...a freeway. We are probably the equivalent of one to two football fields distance away from a steady stream of trucks and cars, flowing by all hours of the day and night and all seasons of the year...just far enough not to identity and admire the makes, just close enough to be annoying.

However, we have a veritable forest of deciduous trees between us and the freeway. This means that in spring and summer, if the weather permits us to open the windows for fresh air, we can only hear the traffic, not see the vehicles going by. In fall and winter, though, we can look out and decide if we want to join the flow...or take a different route. And I can look out from my balcony and dream of traveling.

But that's not all we can hear and see from our balcony. We can sometimes hear geese...and I have seen my favorite childhood birds, the robins; pesky starlings; my favorite winter birds, the red cardinals; and, the other day, I saw a hummingbird. Last summer I was thrilled to see fireflies, which I hadn't seen for a couple of years, and which had so delighted me when we moved from the West to the Midwest. So...they live in the East, too, I marveled.

Squirrels proliferate at any time and I see plenty of deer in season, especially in the wee small hours when I am taking one of my sons to work. I've seen a few foxes; spotted a couple of raccoons, foraging near the dumpsters; and I've seen something low and chubby that I couldn't identify, with a big tail...could it be a beaver?

Today, wonder of wonders! I saw a flying squirrel! I was so excited! And yes, Virginia, there really are flying squirrels. They simply don't live in the West (at least as far as I know.) Well, after my sighting, I looked up flying squirrels on the internet and yes, that's what they are called and no, they don't exactly "fly". They glide. Yes, that is what it was doing! It was gliding - with its feet out like wings and its bushy tail floating out behind him.

I still sometimes wonder how people can live by the freeway. If you have the windows open or step outside, the noise just never stops. My dream is not to live here for the rest of my life. But it works for us for now, and I enjoy the little things about where we live. Come to think of it, maybe they aren't even so little. Some of you know that I get very excited when I see beautiful classic cars. However, I got even more excited today than I would seeing a great Corvette or Thunderbird. Human engineers can make great designs. But only the Great Engineer could make a flying squirrel.

Paul Graduates

2009-05-14T11:56:00.021-05:00

Last weekend we returned to our homeland (of 13 years) for the college graduation of our third child, our second son, Paul.

To my way of thinking, graduating from college is quite an accomplishment. Perhaps it seems greater to me in view of the fact that I never attended college...except for one course in medical terminology a few decades ago. Of course their Dad is a college graduate, but I was the primary teacher of my children until they went to college. No, come to think of it, I teach them to read and to teach themselves, and after that they are mostly their own primary teachers. I select curriculum, check their work, help them when they need it. I would say I am more the "mentor"...though I do love those "teachable moments", too.

I think Paul's graduation is a greater accomplishment in view of the fact that he was left behind - early in his college career - when we had to move away to Baltimore for my husband's work...and then his older brother and sister had to move away to pursue their work. We are all most grateful to everyone who was there for him in so many different ways.

I think it was an even greater accomplishment in view of the fact that Paul went from 20/20 to blind in the course of a few months - in the middle of his college career. So...he went on with his life. I'm sure it wasn't easy. I'm sure he had his moments. But he finished college and ended with a good grade point average and a chair award in his major.

Paul didn't only learn how to navigate to school and to classes in all kinds of weather and how to use an adaptive computer. He cooks for himself and sometimes his friends. He was a president of the Newman Club on campus. He was a senator of the student government association. He is a chancellor of a Knights of Columbus chapter.

If you were one of the ones who has prayed for Paul in his journey, I want to thank you from the depths of my heart. I would also like to ask you to keep those prayers coming as he pursues his career as a writer. He can write both non-fiction and fiction, and is currently looking for a writing job. As someone I met on campus said, "He is a brilliant writer." I was trying to pick up some writing tips from Paul this weekend about writing fiction. He told me there are many different ways, that there is no one formula. And then I learned that he "sees" a story in his head like a movie, before he writes it down.

On the Friday evening before graduation, an animation short film that Paul and his classmates put together premiered in a little theater on campus. Some members of a production company came to meet the class and see the film. When it came time to walk over to the theater, the professor asked someone to lead the way, but she didn't know where the theater was. So Paul, with his guide dog, Chicago, led everyone to the theater.

You can visit the website for this short film, see the producers and writers, even hear round-table discussions about the production.

If you have nine minutes, you can even see the film itself.

Just click over to Linus and Nigel. Enjoy.

Take Charge of the Little Things

2009-04-18T06:46:00.007-05:00

Sometimes spending a little time or a little money can save a lot of time or a lot of money. Here are just a few ways I've found to spend a little time or money to save money.

Working in the billing office of a medical practice, the most important thing I've learned is how crucial it is for a patient to have a valid referral if the insurance plan requires it. If your plan requires referrals from your primary care provider, I suggest you personally make sure the referral gets to the specialist in time for your appointment.

Driving a 16 year old minivan with almost 190,000 miles, I think the single most important thing that has helped keep this vehicle running strong is getting the oil changed. "How often?" is another question. The quick-oil-change places say to change it every 3,000 miles. My manual says to change it every 7,500 miles for normal driving. Since the car is older, and has to work harder, we compromise and get it changed about every 6,000 miles.

Keeping a budget in hard economic times keeps many of us on our toes these days. Recently my sister told me how she cut a little here and a little there from her monthly bills, and it's surprising how it all added up. Sometimes taking that half hour to shave a few dollars from the budget - make a few phone calls or a few small decisions - can make a difference in being able to balance the budget or in buying something that is more important to us, or perhaps in paying off a debt.

Paying off debts, I have found that taking a little time to make a plan keeps me positive. I almost enjoy writing that check and I rejoice as I see the balance diminishing. It's been kind of fun to take the time once in awhile to tweak the debt repayment plan. "If I paid this much more per month on this bill, how much sooner could we get it paid off?" My favorite calculator for this is provided (free) by CNN Money.com.

I'm sure you have your own ideas. That's the beauty of brainstorming. If we just think positively and freely, we can often think of ideas to spend a little and save a little...and sometimes we might even hit the jackpot and save a lot.

Happy Easter!

2009-04-12T05:20:00.001-05:00

May you all have a very blessed and happy Easter!

And remember, it is not just one day, not just one week, not even just one Easter season, but a lifetime, followed by an eternity. May you live in peace, the peace that passes understanding.

May Our Lord grant you His peace and joy today and always.

Christ is risen!
Indeed He is risen!

Rebound Exercise

2009-04-09T06:18:00.017-05:00

Until a spring broke in one of the legs of our mini-trampoline, I hadn't realized how much I depend on it. Actually, until then I had felt guilty that I didn't use it more. As I frequently look over at our mini-trampoline as it lies helplessly on the ground, I realize, now, how often I must have gotten on it for a few minutes here, and a few minutes there. And my recent achy legs have been telling me that those few minutes had all added up to something good...something that I miss.

Have you tried rebound exercise? Have you read about it? We first learned the value of it from a book we had many years ago called The Miracle of Rebound Exercise by Albert E. Carter. Visiting this topic on Amazon just now, I see that he wrote the book as long ago as 1979, but that he has written a follow-up as recently as 2005, called Rebound Exercise: The Ultimate Exercise for the New Millenium.

We bought our current mini-trampoline a year or so ago - second hand - through Craig's List. It's an Urban Rebounder and has a balance bar. The spring that broke was in the leg that attaches to the bar and I think family members (who shall remain nameless) bent the bar back and forth absentmindedly (one too many times) -- not while using the trampoline, but while just standing beside it talking. Our new spring is in the mail.

Why is rebounding so great? I've been doing some searches on rebounding this morning to refresh my memory. From the various websites I've browsed, rebound exercise is good for the lymphatic system, the heart, the circulation, the bones, and so much more. It's good for healthy people and it's good for not-so-healthy people. I just read a review of Al Carter's newer book that says he talks about mitochondria. To me, that's exciting. You may have never heard of mitochondria and I kind of wish I hadn't, but hey, knowledge is power. I think I need to order the book. When I do, I will share with you what I learn, but don't wait for me. If you aren't familiar with this wonderful, convenient form of exercise, check it out for yourself.

The Real Picture

2009-03-15T09:13:00.002-05:00

Wanted to share with you an article about our "net worth"...being more than just financial. I visit a number of personal blogs about money, finances, getting or staying out of debt, being frugal. The Simple Dollar is one of my favorites. I wish I knew from whose blog I found it, so I could thank you. If you are reading this and you might be the one who directed me there, Thank You.

Here's the article, "My Real Net Worth". Thank you, Trent, for sharing these uplifting thoughts.

Just Busy

2009-03-07T18:40:00.004-05:00

When was it that my daily blogging fell by the wayside? Perhaps when I started a part-time job? For awhile, I continued to blog fairly regularly, but it seems that lately I rarely get here. So sorry.

So what have I been doing besides working part time?

And besides trying to keep honing the budget in an effort to get out of debt in spite of the economy?

And besides homeschooling a high school son (who just happens to have a visual impairment)? And besides participating in a great weekly homeschool co-op?

And what else have I been doing besides keeping in touch with several kids (adults kids, that is) who live in various parts of the country?

And besides driving around the kids who live here at home?

And besides chatting with them and with my husband?

And keeping in touch with friends and sisters?

Sometimes I just can't figure out what I do with my time...

Reflections from the March

2009-01-25T10:02:00.002-05:00

Parades were never my thing. Crowds are just too difficult.

"I have separation anxiety," I laughingly say to my family and friends if we are out together. On a trip to the mall or even a very large store, I like to have a designated meeting place, and am grateful for the invention of cell phones.

Yet, here I was in Washington D.C., with our group of eight, in the midst of tens of thousands of people. We were four adults and four young people. Two of the young people were not ours. One of them I had never met before. And she was my angel because she took my arm as we struggled through the crowds. It gave me a feeling of security. As I said to her with a smile, "I have one less person to worry about." I always wondered if she, or Someone who sent her, wanted me to feel more secure, as well as her. And her having my arm probably helped keep me from falling when I'd turn around while walking, in order to count heads.

"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight," just like counting the family, when we used to go to amusement parks...except there were more people surrounding us, and this was no more an amusement park than it was a parade.

Yet, it was more exciting and more fulfilling than going on a pleasure day. Here were all these people. Some were elderly; some had chronic health conditions. Some were young and healthy, but all were offering up various things to be there: the cold, tiredness, fear of crowds. But we soon forgot all that. We were here for the babies, for life, for God's right to give life where He will.

Reminders of our purpose were everywhere. Banners and posters held high, people of all ages and walks of life marched, ambled, squeezed through the throngs, pleasantly, optimistically, but with a purpose.

“N.Y. Rabbis for Life” one man’s sign said, and the woman next to him had a sign, “Jewish Women for Life”.

“Lutherans for Life” read another banner nearby.

Nuns and priests appeared frequently, scattered through the crowds.

A man in a Harley Davidson jacket and bandana explained his stand to a cameraman.

Scores of people walked with black signs stating, “I Regret My Abortion”. When we found ourselves in the midst of them, one of them gently suggested we might want to veer off, out of their group. They had such kindly smiles for us as we moved off to the left, closer to the schools and other families and homeschoolers.

The greatest numbers seemed to be the young people, especially high school and college students, who waved their signs, chanted, sang, full of hope, full of a love for live - their lives and the lives of others. And that, after all, is what it’s all about: our young people, and hope, and love.

Inkheart

2009-01-24T16:53:00.010-05:00

A couple of years ago, my son Peter read and loved the book Inkheart, by Cornelia Funke. He urged me to read it, and I liked it too. So he was excited that they've made it into a movie, and so was I.

Peter invited me to see it today to celebrate my upcoming birthday! We brought my husband along, as well, although he hadn't read the book.

Ed enjoyed the movie, and Peter and I were very satisfied in how the movie makers handled the story. We didn't mind the minor changes because the basic plot and theme remained. The characters were very true to...well, very true to character.

When some people read aloud, the characters come to life. No, I mean they really do come to life. Those characters may not want to be in this strange world...and then again, some of them do, though not all of them for the right reasons.

The movie is rated PG. I wouldn't recommend it for young children who scare easily although I don't think it's any scarier than, say, Wizard of Oz.

Good triumphs over evil; a character can re-script his own life for the good; and love and hope win in the end.

In God We Trust

2009-01-23T06:25:00.002-05:00

What a beautiful post I just discovered this morning at Cay's blog "Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks". It's entitled In God we Trust, and I found it very uplifting.

March for Life

2009-01-22T20:31:00.010-05:00

Where, oh, where did the March for Life go? Where on the news, I mean! I have checked several sources and not even found a mention, so far. But "yahoo" for Yahoo on this one. Not that I liked everything they had to say, but at least they did feature it!

This year I had the great privilege of being there, along with my high school son. I so wish I had taken my camera! Oh wait, I don't have a camera. (The one I used at Christmas was disposable, you see.)

I don't know how many people were there, but the crowds were absolutely overwhelming. But they were pleasant, kindly crowds.

People of all ages were there, with an abundance of enthusiastic teenagers and young adults among them.

Our group found ourselves, at one point, walking near a very large contingent of people with signs that read, "I Regret My Abortion". Hopefully this will give a message to others that this is not the "solution" some might think.

The talks that were given before the March - as well as the atmosphere everywhere - were filled with hope and trust in God.

You can watch the EWTN coverage by checking their website for the schedule (scroll down).

Although I came home exhausted, I am so grateful that we were able to go!

May We Be Hopeful

2009-01-21T17:14:00.005-05:00

I would like to share with you, my dear readers, a response I wrote to an article, which I found posted to an online list that I am on. Although the article to which I responded had ended on a positive note, it was too painful for me to get that far. I had the same experience recently with a talk I heard. I'm sorry I can't share with you what I was responding to, as it was a forward rather than a link.

Below is my email:

Personally, I find articles such as the one you shared with us to be discouraging. Of course, I could always hit the delete button. But instead I would like to share a bit from my own life...a different perspective from a different middle aged woman.

In my senior year of high school (class of '71), I thought the world was indeed a gloomy place. My fellow classmates were being conditioned to accept abortion and euthanasia; my school was on a new academic system that I thought was designed to ruin education; and, in addition, I felt that my parents and I seemed to be living on two different planets.

Attracted to the Catholic Church, but not well grounded in its spirit, I was ripe for the plucking by a pseudo-Catholic cult. Its leader ranted about the problems in the country and raved about the problems in the Church. With reverently offered Masses, public Rosaries, and Benediction what more could one want? Although I left the cult after a couple of months, it took longer to realize more fully what had been missing there: Not only did they not have true unity with the Church but living, growing hope and charity seemed to also be lacking. And just what are hope and charity?

Hope is an abiding confidence that God will give us all the graces we need to go to heaven. But I believe that hope is also a daily virtue of confidence that God will always somehow bring good out of evil, that Our Heavenly Father will guide us and our loved ones through each day, come what may.

Charity is to love God above all, and to love our neighbor as ourselves. Over the years I have come to feel that it also means separating the sin - which offends God - from the sinner - whom He loves, whom He loved so much as to give Himself on the Cross for him, yes, for each and every one of us individually.

I have observed over the years that if we focus too much on the problems, sometimes a temptation to pride arises, a temptation to think that we are special because we are the elite, the chosen few. If we are overly critical of people who make bad choices, then sometimes when young people grow into young adults and find kind, happy people who make the wrong choices, they decide - at least temporarily - that maybe the choices were not so bad, after all. I have noticed through the years that if we put too much emphasis on what is wrong with the world, we sometimes discourage our young people from pursuing what is right.

Change is constant. Sometimes the pendulum swings back and forth, as in a "conservative" or a "liberal" government. Some other changes occur for the worse and remain, but there are others that occur for the better, as well. In my lifetime, I have watched the evil of abortion become legalized. On the other hand, I have also watched homeschooling become legalized, and parents, both homeschooling parents and others, take a great interest in their childrens' lives. While I have watched homosexuality be encouraged as an alternate lifestyle, yet on the other hand, I have taken great joy in observing a greater respect for all God's children, without regard to race...just like in the Communion of Saints.

Good and evil exist together. And yes, these are indeed difficult times. Today, many of us know someone who needs health care and can't afford it, or we may have a family member who is looking anxiously for a job. I believe we need to pray for one another and encourage one another even more in these challenging times.

Do I think we should put our heads in the sand, like the proverbial ostrich? No. When I was that high school senior, I was writing articles for our high school newspaper, trying to alert parents to what I saw as flaws in the new educational system. My dad once told me that a couple years later they gave up the new system, due to pressure from parents. I think I was right to take a stand. But I think it was my mistake to put a chip on my shoulder, "looking for help in all the wrong places".

Tomorrow some of us will participate in the March for Life. Others will join us in other ways, or in prayer. Let us fight the issues we face, one by one. But let us also count our blessings, one by one.

As the song says, "Count your blessings. See what God has done." If we look, if our eyes are not darkened by discouragement, we will always find many good things that God has done.

May God bless us, everyone.

Margaret Mary

A Letter Off

2009-01-09T08:49:00.005-05:00

It pays to read carefully before you report the "news". The other day, after I took one of my sons to work at 4:30 a.m., I told my husband that I saw that a local hotel is being sold. I was saying how bad the economy must be for them to sell this hotel.

The next afternoon, I drove by the same hotel and saw the sign again:
Hotel Fur Sale.

P.S. If there is anyone visually impaired, reading this with a screenreader, the sign said "Hotel F-U-R Sale".

How Old is Your Car in People Years?

2009-01-03T23:17:00.002-05:00

My beloved minivan is 94 years old in people years!

How old is your car? You can find out here.

Our Holiday Celebrations

2009-01-01T09:50:00.010-05:00

We had a wonderful Christmas visit with our out-of-state kids here. We now have another year of memories, one more year of love filling our lives. No matter how much or little money we have at a particular time, no matter what struggles individual members have been going through, no matter whether there have been tragedies (none for us this past year, thankfully), no matter what, love always trumps it all!

If you now have a picture of a loving family sitting placidly around the table, re-set the lens. We are not very placid. Although our kids are basically all of the same Faith, there are many differences in political views, matters of opinion, and anything that could possibly be "up for discussion". The great thing is that everyone has matured to the point where the animated - sometimes a little bit heated - discussions draw to a close with no door-slamming and with everyone smiling. And then come the games: Monopoly and Who Wants to Be a Millionaire this year, as we only had a couple days before people had to return home. All of us here miss all of them, but we keep close throughout the year - through email and, mostly, by telephone.

New Year's Eve found me missing more than just the children who returned home, but our parents, our siblings (by birth, marriage and friendship), and other geographically-distant family and friends. But God provides...and kept me distracted and filled.

After going to my part-time job yesterday (and enthusiastically exchanging greetings with co-workers I hadn't seen, since I had taken time off for Christmas), I then picked up a few things at the store, fixed an easy light supper, and we headed out to a friends' house for a "Pre-New Year's Eve Celebration" from 6-9 p.m. We enjoyed hot spiced apple cider, appetizers, and companionship.

When we came home, I called my co-worker and neighbor to say "We're home now," because earlier in the day I had spontaneously invited her to watch the New Year arrive with us. She and a friend of hers joined us for a little champagne, a lot of sparkling juice, and some chips and dips, but mostly for lots of great conversation. We talked about many of the same things we had talked about at the previous party: fun or exciting stories about the area, traffic, neighborhoods, public transportation, and travel in other areas in the country.

Today we attended Mass, and are now relaxing, watching the rerun of this morning's Rose Parade.

I pray that you and your family may have a blessed, joyous, peaceful New Year, trusting in God for His loving care in your lives.

Merry Christmas!

2008-12-25T15:34:00.005-05:00

It's hard to blog when I haven't blogged for over a month. I start thinking that I need to have something really significant or fascinating to write, or else you won't want to read it. I didn't feel that way when I was writing every day... So if you've gotten this far, please bear with me as I dust off my hesitation and oil my rustiness.

For us, our news is significant, even though it's what we've done for the past many years. Some things only get better with time, like aged wine. All of your kids are here with us for Christmas, the three who live here with us, plus our daughter who lives in Atlanta, our son who is in the Air Force, and our son who lives in Kentucky. We also have an addition romping around this year: Paul's black lab/retriever guide dog, Chicago. Oh if you are wondering, you are right, guide dogs don't romp...that is, as long at they are in the harness. But when Chicago is free in the house, he is a normal happy puppy, joining in the excitement.

We attended a beautiful Latin Mass last night at the huge historic St. Alphonsus church in downtown Baltimore, where Ed sang in the particularly vibrant and joyous choir, and the lights shone all around.

Joe and Ed cooked the breakfast, Greg made the coffee, and after opening gifts, Mary and Joe stuffed the turkey. The dinner is underway and I've only done a little bit here and there (make toast, wash a few dishes). I am really enjoying this!

I hope that your Christmas is happy and brings you much joy, not only today but throughout the season.

Merry Christmas!

Happy Thanksgiving! and Can You Guess?

2008-11-22T08:52:00.008-05:00

This post is an anniversary of sorts, not an anniversary in my family life, but my blogging life. Can you guess what number this post is? I can't think of any little gift to offer you if you guess correctly, but if you want to make a guess in the comments, I will offer a special prayer for you.

It was nearly three years ago that I began my blog with a post about Christmas shopping and the Christian/Christmas spirit. Although I now have a different kind of part-time job, perhaps we can all be reminded, myself included, to make life a little lighter for retail workers, who serve us so faithfully. If you would like to read that first blog post, you can find it here.

But this week, it's time to start getting ready for our Thanksgiving celebrations. I've bought some of my food but still have to buy my turkey. I am so thankful that we can...and for so many other blessings, as well!

Last night I read a beautiful post on Thanksgiving by Cay Gibson at her blog Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks. If you'd like to enjoy the article, too, you can find it here.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Where's the Freedom?

2008-11-15T09:42:00.023-05:00

Where is the "freedom" in the Freedom of Choice Act?

If this bill is passed, hospitals, obstestricians, and their nurses will lose the freedom to choose whether or not abortions are something they want to provide. In other words, they will not be legally allowed to act according to their consciences.

If this bill is passed, the states will lose the freedom to pass legislation - or to enforce current legislation - regarding abortion. For example, in some states parents must be informed before a minor daughter can be given an abortion. In other states, information must be provided to the mother explaining her options. If the Freedom of Choice Act were passed into federal law, any related state laws would be wiped out in one short stroke of the pen.

The Freedom of Choice Act is so strong and broad, that in addition to other considerations, if it were passed, women could find themselves getting medically "unsafe" abortions. Although I believe that any abortion is medically and mentally dangerous for the mother, and it is certainly lethal for the baby, yet this was the original argument I heard so many years ago, before abortion was made legal - that illegal ("back alley") abortions were dangerous. They repeat that argument even now, even while they consider taking away the very minimal medical protections that exist (for the mother).

So, whether you believe as I do that abortion is always wrong, or whether you don't fully agree with me, please consider that the Freedom of Choice Act (FOCA) is not a healthy piece of legislation. And please join us in fighting this bill, which is slated to be re-introduced with the new administration.

Thank you, and God bless us one and all.

Fight FOCA Website
(Sign a petition, and learn more about the Freedom of Choice Act)

National Committee for a Human Life Amendment - Action Page
(this particular page was posted in September but it is very informative)

United States Conference of Catholic Bishops
Secretariat of Pro-Life Activities

What American Accent Do You Have?

2008-11-12T22:27:00.005-05:00

Lots of much more serious stuff is habiting my mind and I will be wanting to share some of it with you in the near future, but let's just have some fun for tonight.

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The West Your accent is the lowest common denominator of American speech. Unless you're a SoCal surfer, no one thinks you have an accent. And really, you may not even be from the West at all, you could easily be from Florida or one of those big Southern cities like Dallas or Atlanta.
The Midland
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
Philadelphia
The South
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Quiz Created on GoToQuiz

Well, guess where I'm from? Grew up in Washington State until I was age 18. Lived in California from then until I was 40. Occasionally, though, people have asked if my accent (what accent?) is Midwestern or European (Irish maybe?...though ever so slight: the accent, that is, not the Irish, which I'm proud of).

Feel free to try the quiz for yourself and to share the results with us.

Hat tip to Alexandra at her Happy Hearts at Home blog.

And my apologies to whomever I got the "What Kind of Muffin Are You?" quiz from, the other day. Sometimes I wander from blog to link and forget where I've been. At least if I wander off when I'm on the internet, I know I can always click the X and find my way home. (Just kidding. I'm really not in the habit of getting lost in real life, only in this "virtual life".)

Help a Friend Help Others

2008-11-10T08:19:00.005-05:00

Maureen Wittmann has helped me, and I'm sure countless other homeschool parents (and even parents who don't homeschool), with her literature recommendations, as well as with other advice and moral support.

Her most recent book For the Love of Literature helps parents in "teaching core subjects through literature".

She has been working on writing a new, much-asked-for book: 100 Books for Kids Who Love to Read, but she is finding it difficult to proceed on the research needed for this book. Why? Because her family moved a few months ago, and she now finds herself in a country library district that doesn't have an inner-library or interlibrary loan system.

How can we help? If you already make purchases through Amazon, you can simply make them by clicking through the Amazon link on Maureen's blog. It won't cost you a penny, and it will help her buy the books needed to keep working on her book.

What Kind of Muffin Are You?

2008-11-07T20:12:00.008-05:00

I always hesitate to post things like this because...when you read the first two lines, you will see why... But, just for fun, just to step out of my over-seriousness, I share this with you. Try it yourself, if you'd like, by clicking on the link at the end. You might be as surprised as I was at how accurate the results seem to be.

You Are a Bran Muffin

Some people have accused you of being all work and no play. And that does describe you most of the time.

You are very career oriented. When you're not working making money, you're working to improve yourself.

You have very little room in your life for fluff. You want to live as good of a life as possible.

You are competitive and driven. You like to surround yourself with other motivated people.

While you are a go-getter, you are by no means self centered. Quite the opposite.

You are a caring, together, and stable friend. You are grounded enough to be there for people.

What Kind of Muffin Are You?

Pray for Our President - Pray for Our Country

2008-11-05T06:44:00.009-05:00

It was with a very heavy heart that I was unable to contribute to history by voting for a black person to be president. I think it is wonderful that our nation has come this far in its growth in recognizing that people of all races are equally deserving of respect.

At the same time that we have grown in this way, we don't seem to have grown as a nation in recognizing that a person who has not yet been born is also as deserving of respect as anyone else.

It was for this issue, as well as others, that I had to "vote my conscience". I had to vote according to the issues, not according to my long-time desire for racial equality and recognition in our county.

So what now? What about the rights of the unborn? What about the issues that some of us don't agree on? Is all lost?

First of all, we know that although God gives man free will and doesn't run things like a puppeteer, yet He brings a greater good out of all things. He knows what is in the mind of each man, woman and child, and everything that ever will be. I liked Especially Heather's blog post on this yesterday morning.

Secondly, we are a great nation - a republic - built on checks and balances. No one person makes all the decisions. Not even the senate and house, along with that man, make all the decisions. The constituents have their influence, by phone calls, letters, and by prayer. And as one of my sons was telling me this morning, the senate minority leader was re-elected. That should help with the checks and balances.

It is a time for us to be vigilant, a time for us to pray. It is always a time for us to be vigilant and to pray, but it is a time to be reminded of that.

At the same time, I think that even those of us who are dismayed about some of the issues can rejoice in the day, can rejoice with a grateful heart. We can be at peace, not to put aside our actions but to put aside our anxieties, with the words, "Be still and know that I am God".

Thank you, Lord, for helping us to recognize as a nation that people of all races are equally created in your image and likeness. Thank you for giving us a nation where we are not dependent upon the opinions and thoughts of one man or one group, but where we have a say in our government, even when we don't agree with the views of some of our leaders. Guide our president and all of our leaders in your will. Help us to exercise our privileges and duties, and help us to trust in Your divine providence each day. Amen.

Powerful Novena of Childlike Confidence - Praying for Our Country

2008-10-31T20:29:00.008-05:00

This upcoming election time scares me for a lot of reasons...but hey, that's nothing new. I've lived over a half century and a lot of things have scared me. One wonderful thing I've learned in all that time is that God is always with us. And so far, in my 55 years, even when some things in the world go badly, it seems that other things improve...not always because of circumstances but because God brings good not only out of good, but God also brings good out of evil.

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I am planning to say this nine hour novena some time over the weekend for the elections, for our country, for all of our citizens. I'm posting it here in case any of you would like to join me.

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Novena to the Infant of Prague

This novena is to be said at the same time every hour for nine consecutive hours - just one day.

O Jesus, Who hast said, ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you, through the intercession of Mary, Thy Most Holy Mother, I knock, I seek, I ask that my prayer be granted.

(Make your request.)

O Jesus, Who hast said, all that you ask of the Father in My Name, He will grant you, through the intercession of Mary, Thy Most Holy Mother, I humbly and urgently ask They Father in They Name that my prayer be granted.

(Make your request.)

O Jesus, Who hast said, "Heaven and earth shall pass away but My word shall not pass", through the intercession of Mary, Thy Most Holy Mother, I feel confident that my prayer will be granted.

(Make your request.)

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Prayers for the Elections and for our Nation

2008-10-29T19:40:00.012-05:00

Anyone who visits my blog may know that I don't discuss politics. But I do have concerns, like everyone else, about the elections...and about the general health, safety and economy of our country, now and for the future.

You can find a daily prayer for the elections at Maureen Wittmann's blog. For any of us who are just now getting to it, it may be too late to say the prayers as a nine day novena; however, we can still join in the prayers for the days that remain. The power of prayer is in the intention and in the love we put into it.

What great power of love will be flooding our country in the coming week...as people all over the country pray! Whatever the beliefs or prayers may be, whatever the outcomes may be, God will surely bless in His own mysterious ways a country that is steeped in prayer.

Catholic Homeschool Co-op in Baltimore

2008-10-18T07:48:00.007-05:00

Do you know any Catholic friends or family members in Baltimore who are starting to homeschool...or do you know anyone moving to Baltimore who is a Catholic homeschooling family? If so, you might like to let them know about our homeschool enrichment co-op. We are very economical (all you need are transportation to where we are and a willingness to participate). We are very democratic (we have a council form of leadership - which looks to the members to all decide together what activities we want to pursue).

At the present time, we mingle and grow friendships over lunch, board games, and projects (this fall the kids had fun making a rocket). Then we have a spiritual element, one week a Gospel reflection and the next week a Catholic apologetics quiz-type game. We follow that with P.E., led by a P.E. teacher who is now a homeschool parent.

We are blessed with resources. The kids love our old Catholic school building, complete with lockers (part of a current parish, which generously shares their facility with us). We have several classrooms, a fenced parking lot to play in, and our own arts and crafts supplies.

If you know someone who would be interested, they can get in touch with me at:
margmary53 at yahoo dot com

Striving for Abundant Survival

2008-10-14T20:16:00.005-05:00

I love being contrary. I mean, how can I put “survival” and “abundant” in the same sentence, right? And yet, I mean just that.

I am a survivor…and perhaps you are too. We survive many things in life: Childhood abuse at the hands of other children. Losing loved ones…some of them tragically. Watching our children suffer. Financial concerns. Maybe what you’re surviving is different from what I’m surviving. Maybe for you it was the premature death of a loved one, or a serious illness of you or a family member. But whatever the differences, we are probably both survivors.

I see that Merriam-Webster says of the word survive: “to continue to function or prosper”…so perhaps my putting the terms “abundant” and “survival” together into one sentence is not contrary, after all, if it means to prosper. We don’t have to “just barely” survive! We can survive fully – fully in love with life! As we “continue to function”, we can also “prosper”.

There are many ways to prosper. Even if we’ve had financial losses, we might prosper financially at some time in the future, if we practice delayed gratification today, and if certain things go our way. But there are other ways to prosper as well.

Abundance is defined as “marked by great plenty (as of resources)”. Our greatest resource, of course, is prayer. We also have love at our disposal, as well as laughter. We can find joy in a rose or a sunny, blue sky (or a rainy day if you happen to be from Washington State like I am). We can find joy in a hobby. Yes, some hobbies take resources that we don’t have, but any passionate interest can be a hobby of sorts, and some are free. Seeing a classical car cruising down the road still takes my breath away…and it doesn’t cost me anything. What do you enjoy seeing or hearing? We can grasp the little moments and enjoy them in the midst of difficulties.

We can also share our resources. I remember a tough time several years ago when I felt that I had absolutely nothing to give to anyone…except a smile. I didn’t smile because I was happy. I smiled because I wanted to give something. But while I was smiling in friendliness, I was feeling happier, if only for a moment at a time.

And so, I have at last found a theme for my blog: “Striving for Abundant Survival.” Come, strive with me. Smile with me. Laugh with me. And as David said in the 33rd Psalm, “O magnify the Lord with me, and let us extol his name together.”

Catholic Prayer Book for Mothers

2008-10-12T19:14:00.011-05:00

Beautiful enough for your coffee table, yet small enough for your purse, this little book is a treasury of uplifting thoughts - and prayers to lift us up.

Each page is beautiful, both in content and eye appeal.

Included are snippets of Scripture, wise words of Pope John Paul II, gems from Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, and brief quotes from other saints as well. The author speaks from her heart to inspire us to the beauty and wonder of motherhood and help lift our minds and hearts to God.

The author - Donna-Marie Cooper O’Boyle - was a friend of Blessed Mother Teresa. Mother Teresa gave her blessing to her writing of the Catholic Prayer Book for Mothers, which was published in 2005 by Our Sunday Visitor.

Donna-Marie has also written a number of other books, including Prayerfully Expecting, The Heart of Motherhood, and Catholic Saints Prayer Book. Her newest books are Grace Café and The Domestic Church.

To order any the books, or read more about them, you can visit her official website or either of her blogs, Daily Donna-Marie, or Embracing Motherhood. Scroll down and look on the left hand column to order any of her books.

Rediscovering Aldi's Food Store

2008-10-10T18:04:00.020-05:00

Or: Recovering Our Grocery Budget

"Whatever happened to my budget for groceries?" I wondered recently as I suddenly became aware that my grocery expenditures had skyrocketed...paying at least a third more last month than what was in my grocery budget.

Was it the fact that working part-time, homeschooling a high schooler, and giving moral support to adult kids is taking up a lot of my time? Definitely this has entered in...especially along with being stressed by all the news going on around me. But does running to our neighborhood supermarket every day for an item or two, and instead picking up $30 worth of "stuff", really save me time? Nope. Not really. Does it really relieve my stress? Nope. Not really.

For years now, we've been shopping at three stores each Friday in order to get the best buys. (It's a family outing, with even my macho young men pitching in.) But adding those daily trips to the most expensive store was counter-productive. So I decided this was the first place to cut. One "extra" trip to a store for perishable staples per week should cover it (and help us "recover it").

Enter Aldi's. I began doing my "extra" trip at Aldi's, where I've been getting good prices on milk...and other foods. As I started my periodic evaluation of prices, I found out that I can pay considerably less at Aldi's now on most of the food items I've been able to get at our Wal Mart or Sam's Club stores. I hadn't realized how much food prices had gone up. Now I'm paying yesterday's Wal Mart prices at Aldi's. And the funniest thing is that my 15 year old, worse-for-the-wear minivan looks out of place amid the newer-model luxury cars and SUVs in the Aldi's parking lot.

I've been gradual about adjusting where I buy what items, and yet, already this past week, I was only five dollars over budget on groceries. Hurray! And we haven't even changed our basic eating habits.

I'd like to invite you to join me...not necessarily at Aldi's. Maybe you don't have one in your area. Maybe you don't want to try generic brands (in spite of the double guarantee). But it never hurts to re-evaluate our buying habits and the prices we are paying. If you do, I hope you have as much fun as I've been having.

P.S. You can read Maureen Wittmann's Ten Tips on Saving Money at the Grocery Store.

Franciscan Ecards

2008-10-08T19:14:00.005-05:00

I have been having way too much fun! This is the month for birthdays: my sister, my two nephews, several dear friends...and a wedding anniversary thrown in for a bit of variety.

So I headed on over to Franciscan Ecards. I've been there many times over the years but Sr. Pat (from my home state of Washington) has outdone herself in renewing the site. The colors are so vibrant and the choices abundant.

After you choose a card, you get to pick a song, pick a poem, pick a stamp for the envelope. You can choose your own background colors, write a personal message, and change the font size.

In a hurry? Too many decisions? Then, you can just pick the card and put in the email addresses.

Either way, it's super easy to do. And the address is super simple to memorize, too. Just remember: holyecards.com

What could be easier than that?

Enjoy!

Novena to St. Jude - Day Nine

2008-09-24T06:07:00.001-05:00

O Holy Saint Jude, Apostle and Marytr, grant that we may so dispose our lives that we may always be pleasing to God. In working out our salvation in this vale of tears we have many needs and necessities. Today we turn to thee, asking you to intercede for us and obtain for us the favors we ask of God. Especially do we petition for [here mention your intentions].

May we not so much seek temporal good but rather what will avail our souls, knowing that it profiteth us nothing if we gain the whole world yet suffer the loss of our soul.

Therefore, may we incline ourselves towards the Divine Will, seeing God's grood and gracious purpose in all our trials.

Saint Jude, pray for us!
My Jesus, mercy!

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You can find the prayers for all nine days of the St. Jude Novena by visiting the Scriptures and Prayers page.

St. Jude Novena - Day Eight

2008-09-23T05:47:00.003-05:00

O Saint Jude, Apostle of Christ, pray that we may ever imitate the Divine Master and live according to His Will. May we cooperate with the grace of God and ever remain pleasing in His sight. Especially do we ask you to plead for us and obtain whatsoever is necessary for our salvation. Forget not our special petitions [here mention your intentions]. May we always be thankful to God for the blessings we have received in the past. Whatsoever we ask for the present or future, we submit to the Divine Will, realizing that God knows best what is good for us. We know He will respond to our prayers and petitions in some way or other.

Saint Jude, pray for us!
My Jesus, mercy!

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You can find the prayers for all nine days of the St. Jude Novena by visiting the Scriptures and Prayers page.

St. Jude Novena - Day Seven

2008-09-22T07:47:00.004-05:00

O Holy Apostle Saint Jude, in whose honor we are gathered today, may we never forget that our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ chose you to be one of His twelve Apostles. On this account and on account of the martyrdom you suffered for the Faith, we know you are a close friend of Almighty God. Therefore we do not hesitate to petition you in our necessities, especially [here mention your intentions]. We humbly submit ourselves to the Will of God, knowing full well that no sincere prayer is ever left unanswered. May we see God's good and gracious purpose working in all our trials.

Saint Jude, pray for us!
My Jesus, mercy!

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You can find the prayers for all nine days of the St. Jude Novena by visiting the Scriptures and Prayers page.

St. Jude Novena - Day Six

2008-09-21T07:51:00.006-05:00

Saint Jude, Apostle of Christ, and helper in despairing cases, hear the prayers and petitions of those who are gathered together in thy honor. In all our needs and desires may we only seek what is pleasing to God and what is best for our salvation. These, our petitions [here mention your intentions] we submit to thee, asking you to obtain them for us, if they are for the good of our souls. We are resigned to God's Holy Will in all things, knowing that He will leave no sincere prayer unanswered in some way, though it may be a way unexpected by us.

Saint Jude, pray for us!
My Jesus, mercy!

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You can find the prayers for all nine days of the St. Jude Novena by visiting the Scriptures and Prayers page.

Speaking of Unemployment

2008-09-20T18:14:00.003-05:00

As we've been praying for people who are unemployed, and other economic problems, I came across the following article, Prayers and Tips for the Unemployed, posted by my friend Esther. Lots of great ideas.

St. Jude Novena - Day Five

2008-09-20T16:41:00.004-05:00

O Holy Saint Jude, Apostle and companion of Jesus Christ, who has shown us by example how to lead a life of zeal and devotion, we humbly entreat thee today to hear our prayers and petitions. Especially do we ask you to obtain for us the following favors [here mention your intentions]. Grant that in praying for present and future favors, we may not forget the innumerable ones showered upon us in the past but often return to give thanks. Humbly we resign ourselves to God's Holy Will, knowing that He alone knows what is best for us in our needs and our necessities.

Saint Jude, pray for us!
My Jesus, mercy!

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You can find the prayers for all nine days of the St. Jude Novena by visiting the Scriptures and Prayers page.

St. Jude Novena - Day Four

2008-09-19T13:05:00.007-05:00

Saint Jude who was called to be one of Christ's chosen Apostles and who labored to bring men to a knowledge and love of God, listen with compassion to those gathered together to honor thee and ask thy intercession. In this troubled world of ours we have many trials, difficulties and temptations. Plead for us in the Heavenly Court, asking especially that our petitions may be answered, especially the particular one we have in mind at this moment [here mention your intentions]. May it please God to answer our prayers in the way that He knows best, giving us grace to see His purpose in everything.

Saint Jude, pray for us!
My Jesus, mercy!

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You can find the prayers for all nine days of the St. Jude Novena by visiting the Scriptures and Prayers page.

St. Jude Novena - Day Three

2008-09-18T07:17:00.005-05:00

O Saint Jude, Apostle of Jesus Christ, thou who has so faithfully and devotedly helped to spread His Gospel of Light, we who are gathered together today in thy honor, ask and petition thee to remember us and our needs. Especially do we pray for [here mention your intentions]. May it also please our Lord to lend an ear to your supplications in our behalf. Grant that we may ever pray with fervor and devotion, resigning ourselves humbly to the Divine Will, seeing God's purpose in all our trials and knowing that He will leave no sincere prayer unanswered in some way.

Saint Jude, pray for us!
My Jesus, mercy!

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You can find the prayers for all nine days of the St. Jude Novena by visiting the Scriptures and Prayers page.

St. Jude Novena - Day Two

2008-09-17T15:15:00.003-05:00

O Blessed Apostle Saint Jude, who has been instrumental in gathering us here together today, grant that we may always serve Jesus Christ as He deserves to be served, giving of our best efforts in living as He wishes us to live. May we so dispose our hearts and minds that God will always be inclined to listen to our prayers and petitions, especially those petitions which we entrust to thy care and for which we ask you to plead for us [here mention your intentions].

Grant that we may be enlightened as to what is best for us, in the present and future, not forgetting the Blessings we have received in the past.

Saint Jude, pray for us!
My Jesus, mercy!

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You can find the prayers for all nine days of the St. Jude Novena by visiting the Scriptures and Prayers page.